Emotions..? Must Be The Womans Times.....

Sorry this didn't go up on Friday, I started it then, but had to push it to the side, then I got lost in Liberty City. Hey, don't judge me!

I could cry, (it's true those hallmark commercials always get me) but I won't over the last new episode of 30 Rock this season. It seems like my friends had only just gotten back to me and they're off again. At least the season ended with a bang. A few great guest stars, great B plots and a look 3 months into the future. Jenna sings a song! A fantastic episode all the way through.

Can we get more Matthew Broderick? Having what I believe to be the 2nd most inspired name for a high profile guest stars character, (the 1st being Scott Baio as Bob Loblaw on Arrested Development) Broderick as Cooter Burger (this episode seemed fascinated by lady parts) was brilliant:
Cooter: Hey, we have a meeting with the Appropriations Committee like, now.
Jack: Oh no, I’m not prepared.
Cooter: I know, I’m not drunk either. But we’ll manage.

What better way to exemplify all politics than through Cooters insistence that a leak in the ceiling does not exist as water streams down onto a desktop:
Jack: The ceiling appears to be leaking.
Cooter: No it’s not. We looked into it and it’s not.

Come to think of it, maybe the leak is symbolic of another lady bit function white male conservative America is reluctant to believe in. That's right female orgasm, I'm talking 'bout you.

Speaking of orgasms. Tracy finishes his porn video game Gorgasm (colon) The Legend of Dongslayer:
Frank: Sorry about the wizard, Tracy. I’ll call the Korean animators.
Tracy: Yeah, you fixulate this!

Apparently, the game is so good Frank locks himself away for three months playing it.

Plot be damned though, this episode was on the verge of bursting with great lines. A lot of them came from Jenna who's been horribly underused since the show came back. 

Finding Kenneth in the hall:

Jenna: Kenneth, where have you been? I had to put on my jeans by myself!

After finding a home pregnancy kit in the trash:

Jenna: Oh no! Someone's going to get more attention than me!

On Pregnancy:

Jenna: As my mom used to say. "You never want this to happen."

Defending a 3-way with Tom Arnold and Roseanne:

Jenna: That was two years ago!

My favorite Jenna moment happened between her and Kenneth as she explained a "Back Door Brag."

Kenneth: The personal essay is way harder than I thought, cause it's not in my nature to brag on myself.

Jenna: Not even a back door brag?

Kenneth: What's a back door brag?

Jenna: It's sneaking something wonderful about yourself in everyday conversation. Like when I tell people it's hard for me to watch American Idol cause I have perfect pitch. You try it.

Kenneth: Oh, it's hard for me to watch American Idol because there's a water bug on my channel changer.

This comes back later in a talk with Liz:

Jenna: People always underestimate my instincts because of my good looks.

Liz: This is no time for back door bragging!

Liz's pregnancy scare also led to some great moments 

Liz' proud claim of promiscuity to Cerie:

Liz: Thank you Cerie, but I've been sexually active since I was 25.

Checking the calendar for her last "woman times."

Liz: Why don't I cross off the days like people in the movies?

Her views on motherhood:

Liz: I'm going to be a kick ass single mom. Like Erin Brokovich, or Sarah Connor.

(the last made funnier to geeks since Dean Winter who plays the suspected father, Dennis Duffy the Beeper King, also stars in the Sarah Connor Chronicles as Sarahs ex-fiance.)

She also left several manic messages on Jacks phone that lose the punch of the joke without the whole episode providing background info. Jacks reactions to the messages are great and need to be seen.

Speaking of Jack. He spent the episode in Washington at his new job in charge of:

Jack: Extreme Weather Preparedness and the War on the Poor.

Liz: You mean "War on Poverty?"

Jack: Yeah, ok. Let's go with that.

Jacks presidential assessment:

Jack: I don't like to think of this president as a lame duck. I like to think of him as a lame eagle.

I know you're saying to yourself, that's all well and good, but what was your favorite part? What made Charlie really laugh?

Well, it's a 3 way (not with Rosie and Tom) tie for me. In no particular order they are:

Kathy Geiss pulling a toy car out of her mouth

Liz: You're busy. I'll come back another time.

Kathy puts the car back in her mouth

Liz Finding Dennis in her apartment:

Liz: What are you doing here?

Dennis: I don't have to explain myself to you. Look, I told my mom I got a job so I've been coming here the last two weeks during the day.

Jack on the kind of plan he and Cooter need to get fired:

Jack: A guaranteed disaster. Like eating a burrito before sex.

I didn't even mention Petes Olympic Dreams crushed by Carter:

Pete: Peanut farmer.

Jacks nickname from the president: 

The Jacker

Dennis' baby names:

Morpheus if it's a boy or Judy after some chick he boffed if it's a girl.

Dennis' grasp of english:

Dennis: I know what prenatal means. Pre, before. Natal, ruined.

I could go on, I want to go on. It's just so hard to let go. Sniff, damn! I said a wasn't gonna cry. 

I'll miss this show for the next few months and may even re-watch the season. It's just my sharp wit makes it difficult to enjoy most mainstream comedies. (see what I did there?)

Anyway, it's time for my "Freedom Search."

Until next time.

Clearing My Thoughtcicles.....

Is it Friday already? The week just flew by, of course I was out sick a day so that may have something to do with it. I'm almost ashamed to say I'm taking next Tuesday off so I can to a midnight sale of Grand Theft Auto 4, then pass out on the couch playing. Damn you addictive personality and your wily manipulative ways!
Anyway, it being Friday means I spent last night in TV land bliss as Lost came back both barrels blazing (literally) and finding a funny line in 30 Rock was as easy as taking candy from one of those guys who give out candy at gay night clubs.
It feels like the Rock is starting to get it's feet back. The writers strike really had an effect on the momentum of the show, and I'm sure Tina Fey promoting a new movie, and probably putting finishing touches on it and an SNL appearance while these episodes filmed couldn't help any. Still, 30 Rock is like pizza...or fisting, even when it's bad it's good.
Last nights episode had a lot going for it. Donaghy and Geiss have great chemistry, but Donaghy and Banks are even better. Liz out of her element is always good. Can anyone be more awkward then Liz Lemon in a pantsuit?
So let's run down the favorite bits:

Jack regarding his promotion to Geiss:
I want my mother to know this before she dies so she can go to her grave a defeated woman.

Shirtless Tracy, dancing in the middle of his sons class crying:
If I'm such a bad dad, why are we all dancing?

Jack:
Hugging...it's so ethnic.

Tracy:
my son is ashamed of his father.
Kenneth:
That's horrible. Everyone knows the only thing we should be ashamed of is our bodies.

Liz on molesting Banks in the elevator: To get through it I pretended he was a sandwich.

Franks explanation in Star Wars terms to Tracy on why a porn video game can't be made, (the valley) and Dr. Spaceman calling 911 for Diabetes repair had me rolling as well as Liz' disdain for Banks (he reminds me of me, yesterday) then handing Jack a tampon (which he places in his breast pocket like a cigar) for feeling bad for Banks were all great moments.

My favorite of the night
Tracy: My genius has come alive, like toys when your back is turned.

Truer words have not been spoken.
have a great weekend all......

MILF Frikkin' Island Baby...The Rock Is Back!

Liz watches MILF Island with Jack

Now that 30 Rock is back with new episodes and I can once again worship at the altar of the Geek Goddess Tina Fey. I need to bring back a Friday tradition (at least 3 times) of sharing my favorite quotes. last night was tough as there was hardly any Tracy, and no Jenna. Pete had a weird subplot which was dialogue free, but used up a lot of time that would normally be spent throwing the jokes around. So what was my favorite bit?

Was it Cheney calling Jack to ask about Deborahs breasts?
"No, they're not real unfortunately."
What about Kenneths "You're eyes look like my uncles after he drinks from the air conditioner."
Maybe it was Soyjoy, now with optimism, or Liz' Cathy "Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, Ack!" If it wasn't Jacks litany of nicknames "Stammerhead Shark, stutterfingers, stuttermilk pancakes. The butter thing opened a lot of doors for them" then it had to be Jack talking about his childhood "I feel like I'm back in that boiler room making little piles of sawdust while Gilley plays with himself in the corner."
No matter, 30 Rock is back and I'm in "Erection Cove".

I think Jack should follow up MILF Island with "Cougar Island" and then "Celebrity Cougar Island" so Jenna can be on and get voted off when it's down to her and Cameron Diaz.

By the way, check out Livin' 'Neath The Law with Jack McBrayer (Kenneth) on Funny Or Die

You can catch Milf Island on Hulu.com

Have A Merry Ludachristmas

So, the last new 30 Rock of this year aired last night and sure enough it was a Christmas, or as they called it, Ludachristmas episode. On the average I truly dislike holiday episodes of any TV show. They are always schmaltzy, and always have some underlying message that causes the back of my throat to seize up to stem the flow of gingerbread flavored holiday chunks.
With the message being every family is as screwed up as your own, punctuated by the Lohans names on the alcohol alert board at the end. This episode still pulled characters out of their natural roles and injected guest stars that just don't share the chemistry of the regular cast, and believe me, I am no Andy Richter or Buck Henry hater.
I did think this episode relied too much on sight gags, the coughing stripper, the poor kids gift of wood, the who farted set and Liz's football game (feminism!). The show, as always shines brightest in the dialog. My favorite line last night.

Liz's dad: It's not a Lemon party without old Dick.

For those of you who don't spend your days looking up deviations on the internet....not that I do, one description of lemon party is geriatric gay porn.
Roll that one around on your tongue and let me know how it tastes later.

It Must Be Friday.......

And that brings me to my favorite new 30 Rock quote of the week. There were so many great lines. Tracy screaming Banter, Jennas assistant asking Bitch are you in? The great anonymous I killed my wife at the closing. 5 Million? That's NBA sexual assault money! I won't even start on sharking which does have a wiki entry:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharking

None of that beat Liz (Tina Fey Geek Goddess) walking in on Jack and his girlfriend in his office.
Jack: Lemon, you're here early.
Liz: Since I gave up caffeine I've been going to bed at 5:30.

It was something along those lines and speaking as a guy who normally gets home from work and has a cup of joe to keep going I can definitely relate.

Mmmm orange soda.......

All hail Tina Fey Geek Goddess, Geeky Goodness
Best 30 Rock line last night:

They come from a place where orange soda is an acceptable substitute for breast milk.
(Tracy Morgan/Jordan about the ghetto baseball league he's coaching)

What'd they do, poll my family?
I'm still rolling