I'm A Highly Evolved Being, And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt

I know, I know. I made a vow to keep to this about 3 times a week and I've already reneged. Let's be honest here though, I said this month would be a bear at work, and so far I've at least been honest about that. Besides you wouldn't want to argue with a highly evolved individual such as myself would you?
What makes me think I'm highly evolved.......?

SCIENCE! (stab your finger in the air if you're reading this aloud)

According to Meridith Small an author and anthropologist at Cornell University as well as a frequent contributor to Live Science and Katherine Rankin a Neurophysiologist at the University of California, sarcasm, yes sarcasm is an evolutionary survival skill and plays an important part in human social interaction.

If this is true, Groucho Marx and Bob Hope may have been the most highly evolved beings in our lifetime. Take that Dalai Lama!
All those years being told sarcasm was the lowest form of humor, or that my sarcasm was gonna get me popped in the mouth one day, (it hasn't) or even worse, sarcasm is a character flaw have all been lies. Lies perpetuated by those lower on the evolutionary scale than I. Let me tell you, this takes a load off my mind. No really, you don't know how....free I feel. How, what's the word? Unfettered.

Not only am I evolved, but the article goes on further to state that people who don't get sarcasm are damaged! Something wrong with that guy. Don't leave him alone with the kids, if you know what I mean. That guys got something wrong...bam! Right in the ol' parahippocampal gyrus. He's got a screw loose in the right side of his brain, man.

I feel sorry for the guy who doesn't get sarcasm, but there must be a lot of them cause Brad Garret keeps getting sitcoms while Arrested Development gets cancelled. Yes I'm still crying about that, deal with it!

So, new vow. I promise to be as positively funny and simultaneously as negatively nasty as possible, whenever possible. The kid gloves are off my friends. Witness my meteoric rise up the evolutionary ladder and quake, yes quake at the majesticness of a highly evolved bittingly witty being such as myself.

Or it could just be more of the same old, same old. Many of you won't know, cause you just....won't....get...it.

If you want to read the article you can find it here at Live Science.