All The Cool Geeks

A Timey Wimey Win or The Doctor Blinks

2008-08-13T12:15:00.007-04:00

When something I really like wins an award I can't help but get a bit smug. After all the award can't be for the creative people who toiled and succeeded beyond the norm to produce a masterpiece. No, the award goes to me. The couch potato with such high standards that everyone went above and beyond to keep me entertained and coming back for more.
Well, I must be cock (heh heh, sorry I'm this many years old) of the walk today since I just found out Steven Moffat and Hettie Macdonald have taken the Hugo awarded to Dramatic Presentation: Short Form for the Doctor Who episode Blink.
If you haven't seen Blink, by all means do so. Search it, torrent it, youtube it. Just see the damn thing.
The episode is very Doctor lite with almost all the attention going to Sally Sparrow (Carey Mulligan)a young girl who gets caught up in a conversation with the Doctor (David Tennant) across time via DVD easter eggs to defeat an ancient race of "Weeping Angels" who have stolen the Tardis and left the Doctor stranded in 1969. The Angels live off potential energy transporting their victims to the past where they live to death. If the Angels find a way into the Tardis, the energy they can siphon would be catastrophic for mankind.
It's all very difficult to explain in a Timey Wimey sort of way. Why Blink? You may ask. Seems the Angels are quantum locked, meaning they can't move while being observed, but just blink and they can cover great distances...scary huh? Blink is one of the greatest episodes of any series produced for television. It's scarier than most horror films and smarter than most sci-fi films. It can easily stand alongside your favorite Twilight Zone episode as iconic television. I put it right up there with the premier of Twin Peaks and Buffy's Hush as outstanding television. It's refreshing when something deserving an award actually wins one. Even more so when I can boast of how hard they worked to impress me.

Steven Moffat will be taking the Doctor Who reigns with the new season in 2010. Blink won him his 3rd Hugo for work on Doctor Who and hopefully won't be his last.
Blink is based on a Steven Moffat original short story you can find here.

Whatever you do....don't blink!

This Message Is Totally Hot

2008-08-06T12:32:00.008-04:00

I wouldn't exactly call myself a Paris Hilton fan but there are some things not featured in the "Night In Paris" tape that she does well. Chief among those is knowing when to make fun of herself. While she never seems to take a joke well when it's aimed at her, she has no qualms making herself and the image she projects a parody. It's at these times you can actually see what so many people find charming about her.
Like her or lump her, Paris holds a great deal of influence on young women in America so when she goes anti fur and vegetarian as she did last year, so do the girls who idolize her.

When John McCains camp decided to use her likeness in an ad skewering Obama, Paris couldn't let it go. She responded with her own ad again parodying her image and making a point that she is not someone to be used.

I never thought I'd throw props to Ms. Hilton, but props are due. In the ad she's cute, she's funny and she's totally ready.

If the video doesn't work you can see it on Funny or Die.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Dr Horrible Threatens Film Crew

2008-07-30T13:26:00.010-04:00

In case you missed it the first time around, I only reminded you like five times, Dr. Horribles Sing Along Blog is back for viewing. No longer an ITunes exclusive, Dr. Horrible has returned to Hulu due to popular demand.
Each chapter can be viewed individually or the whole show can be watched as one 42 minute clip. I can't think of many better ways to kill an hour at work.

Here's the link

In other Horrible news. Joss Whedon has confirmed there will be more chapters in the musical dramedy starring Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion.

As long as you're opening a Hulu account (it's free) check out the Film Crew channel.
The Film Crew is essentially MST3K without the props and bots.
I wrote about them back on Feb 11th, and have since seen the films offered on Hulu. If you were a fan of MST3K, Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphys voice overs to bad movies will take you right back to Saturday mornings on the couch with a bowl of sugar smacks and the channel tuned to Comedy Central.

Let's hope they do a few more

New Harry Potter Trailer!

2008-07-30T07:05:00.009-04:00

It's finally up!

The new trailer for the eagerly awaited Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince hit the net. The film is scheduled for release on Nov 21 of this year, and if the trailer is any indication, it'll be the darkest chapter yet.

For now, watch the trailer, mark your calendar, and fellas, remember; Emma Watson (Hermione) is 18 now. Feeling old yet?

If the video doesn't work. (you know how YouTube is) You can find it at MSN or MTV.

Enjoy

Random Thought

2008-07-29T16:30:00.001-04:00

Do you really have the right to call yourself a progressive radio station if five of the last eight tunes you played were by the Cranberries, Nickelback, Norah Jones, Lisa Loeb and the Go Gos?

I'm thinking no.

Frank N Failure

2008-07-24T13:12:00.006-04:00

Some things should never be repeated. Some are huge like the Civil War or a Celine Dion comeback tour. Others are small like getting back with an ex you know is bad for you or repeating, compared to what?, when your wife asks if she looks fat.

Some things, the idea of repeating would be so heinous, you imagine no one in their right mind would even attempt to repeat them. In fact the thought of repeating certain things should cause physical reactions. Nausea, sweats, perhaps physical discomfort. The sense you would feel when you come to the realization that your foot is nailed to the floor in a revolving door.

That's pretty much how I felt when I read this morning that MTV is going to remake The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

First thought that comes to mind is....why?

Bear in mind, I'm not talking at all about the original stage production. That could be fun in a limited run. Nope, I'm talking about the movie.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is the twisted brainchild of Richard O'Brien and Jim Sharman. A tripped out glam horror/sci-fi musical shot on a shoestring and starring unknowns. Most of whom went on to bigger and better things.

It is also the highest grossing midnight movie, and still plays to this day inviting cult fanaticism and audience participation. Rocky Horror fans perform the whole film in full costume down to the slightest gesture on the theater floor while the movie plays overhead. (I miss you 8th St. Playhouse)

Going to see Rocky Horror required preparation. Toilet paper, newspapers, squirt guns, lighters and more were mandatory if you wanted to fully immerse yourself in the Rocky Horror experience, and the costumes...oh, the costumes. You haven't lived till you've seen several young ladies all dressed as Little Nells Columbia standing around chatting or practicing their dance moves. No wonder the Pussycat Dolls do nothing for me, they're tame compared to what I saw as a kid.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show starred than unknown Tim Curry as the transexual transylvanian Dr. Frank N Furter. Susan Sarandon spent 90% of the film in bra and panties as the prurient Janet Weiss. Barry Bostwick was her equally naive fiance Brad Majors. Rounding out the cast were Richard O'Brien as Riff Raff, Patricia Quinn as his sister Magenta, Little Nell Campbell played Columbia and Meatloaf was her boyfriend, and nephew of Brads mentor Dr. Scott, (Johnathan Adams) Eddie. Peter Hinwood plays Rocky the Frank N Furter created man, and the film is expertly narrated by Charles Gray to tie it all together.

So why wouldn't this work as a remake?
Why would it?
There are a lot of thing to consider before going down this very dangerous and fated to fail path.

First, midnight movies and cult films aren't made, they happen. There is just something right about the chemistry, the production and what it taps into in the current hip consciousness that makes them special. Often the creative team is going for something completely different. Just take a look at films that had all the right elements and failed because they were going for cult status. Snakes on a Plane comes to mind.

Second, Rocky Horror challenged the morality of the time with it's goth/glam outfits and questionable sexuality. Janet and Brad getting seduced by this creature was the greatest fear on a parents mind and the kids knew it.
With films like Brokeback Mountain garnering critical acclaim, does anyone really care if a character is gay anymore? How many parents would bat an eye in our post Madonna/Britney society if their daughter wore a corset to a movie, or their son had pierced ears and wore eyeliner? They see this every day and worse.
There's nothing left for Rocky Horror to challenge.
In fact I wouldn't be surprised if gay and lesbian rights groups protested the film for portraying homosexuals as sex crazed deviants out to corrupt the youth of America.

Third, there's no smoking in theaters....of anything! To many, part of the RHPS experience was mind expansion, if it wasn't, chances were good you'd get a contact high anyway.
I also could not imagine my local Regal multiplex allowing a midnight mess to be made in the theater. Better leave the water pistols and TP at home this time around.

Fourth, it's an MTV production meaning it will be cast with whoever is big at the time regardless of true talent. RHPS by MTV would be a stunt casting extravaganza. Eddie Izzard as Frank N Furter, or maybe Sascha Baron Cohen. Let's get Jared Leto to play Brad and Amy Lee as Janet. You see where I'm going with this? It would be battle of the divas and the losers would be the people who shelled out 9 bucks for it.
If you think MTV is going to do anything but a PG13 film you are deluded. Out goes the overt sexual deviance's that made the original so much fun, and to some shocking.

I could probably come up with another half dozen reasons not to do this film, and I couldn't come up with one as to why they should. I'm sure MTV thinks they could make money off a RHPS remake, and maybe they will, but I think their money could be better spent on something original. Throw that money at Joss Whedon if you want a sci fi/horror musical to call your own. Make something that's relevant to our disaffected Bush era youth. Do something positive instead of rehashing old taboos that hold as much water as a leaky thimble these days, or as Frank N Furter would say "Don't Dream it, Be it."

Let's hope the powers at MTV wake up and cancel this project before it gets too far.

The following clip may not be for the young'ns

Sweat To The Beat

2008-07-23T12:27:00.007-04:00

While reading the article I copied below, remember I'm thinking there may not be anything better than a good "I told you so". Much like my previous post proving how highly evolved I am.

http://allthecoolgeeks.blogspot.com/2008/06/im-highly-evolved-being-and-all-i-got.html

This new article may very well prove I am also a finely tuned athlete. All these years existing as a primo catch and I marketed myself as PBR when I should've been going for a bottle of Dom, or at least a good boxed wine.

One of the best things about this article is the actual test subject. Clem Burke is a one time mentor, though I'm sure he wouldn't remember me from 3 decades ago, and lifelong idol/hero. I learned how to do a drumroll by emulating his style over and over again. Heck, I even learned a disco beat playing along to Heart of Glass and it didn't suck!

The article doesn't say anything I haven't been saying for years. At 43, I probably suffer from as many sport/drum related injuries as any athlete. Both my shoulders have bone spurs, I have tennis elbow which may need surgery some day. Both my calves are hyperdeveloped which often constricts lactic acid so I have chronic pain in both legs. (running helps this a bit, as does stretching) There are other minor aches and pains and I can't attribute all of them to old age, since I'm not that old.

It is true that I would have to spend about 15 minutes before and after shows doing various stretches while my band mates were working on 12-16 oz curls. Doing shows is like running in place for 40 minutes under 90 degree lights, and I won't even go into rehearsals.

Only problem is, most drummers tend to get a gut, myself included. We usually get the short end of the stick, no pun intended, since we're not as svelte as a singer or guitarist. This is from not doing any ab exercises and focusing more on speed than strength. We also get accustomed to eating more to keep our energy up since we burn so many calories. Sadly, our habits don't necessarily change when we're not gigging, or god forbid not working with 2 or 3 bands at a time.

It's all fine though. my wife says while every girl may want to date the singer or the guitarist, they all want to marry a drummer.

That's good enough for me.

here is the original article

Drumming beats most sport as exercise

Will Pavia | July 23, 2008

THEY have been the butt of jokes, and even the most agile of their number have seldom been regarded as paragons of physical virtue.

For all John Bonham's thunderous half-hour solos behind Led Zeppelin and Keith Moon's frenzied skinbashing with The Who, neither man - nor the generations of drummers who followed them - was ever recognised as a finely tuned athlete.

All that is about to change. After an eight-year study of Clem Burke, the veteran Blondie drummer, sports scientists have concluded drummers are comparable in their physical prowess with world-class sportsmen.

Marcus Smith of the University of Chichester said: "For me, as a sports scientist, he is no different to the Olympic athletes I have worked with."

Dr Smith and Steve Draper, of the University of Gloucestershire, monitored Burke's oxygen uptake, blood lactate and heart rate in rehearsals and live performances.

"He loses up to two litres of fluid in a performance, which is similar to a runner going out and doing 10,000m," Dr Smith said.

Burke burned 400-600 calories an hour. His heart rate averaged 140 to 150 beats a minute, though it could rise as high as 190 beats - equalling that of Cristiano Ronaldo in a Premier League football match.

Restoring the honour of the rock drummer has been a labour of love for Dr Smith, a lifelong Blondie fan. In 1998, as he was finishing his PhD, there were rumours the band was about to reform. He wrote to Burke that summer as a fan and as a sports scientist who had worked with professional football players and British Olympic boxers. They met at Wembley Arena, where Burke agreed to let Dr Smith follow him around on tour.

"There is a lot more to it than having a beer and walking on stage for two hours," Burke told The Times. Even if that was how he used to do business, "at this point in my career, I'm conscious of needing to be prepared".

He does not think, however, that he is the only one who requires the services of a sports scientist. "Rock and roll music is in middle age now," he added.

Burke needs to stay in peak physical condition and can sometimes suffer from joint pain. "Jacuzzis, saunas, massages, all that is incorporated into the life of the modern drummer," he said. The late Moon, whose manic performances seemed to create enough energy to power the national grid, was once his idol. "These days, I say he taught me what not to do. He was very physical but he basically killed himself with excessiveness," Burke said.

As he spoke, drummers up and down the country basked for a moment in the warm glow of recognition for their physical achievements.

Dave Rowntree, the drummer for Blur, said: "I would lose a stone every time I went on tour. You get a three-hour workout every night."

Sarah Jones, 22, who plays drums for indie band New Young Pony Club, said: "I think of drumming as exercise. Other musicians can stop occasionally but you have to be going like the clappers for the whole gig."

She now meets drummers with strict fitness regimes. "I do see drummers who start preparing hours before they go on. They say, 'Right, it's time for my banana now', and they will have specific energy drinks."

She wonders whether this fits within the rock and roll image. "It does seem rather boring," she said.

The Times

I Completely Spaced! See What I Did There?

2008-07-23T10:04:00.008-04:00

Yesterday I gave some updates to previous posts. Somehow I forgot one of the most important and immediate updates even though I had it written boldly on my Zombie Survival Guide desk calendar.

Spaced, the amazing BBC series created by and starring Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevens and directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) has finally hit our shores in a region 1 (U.S. for those of you not familiar with regionspeak) release. The set includes the whole 14 episode series and a ton of extras including additional commentaries with celebrity fans like Kevin Smith, Quentin Tarantino, Patton Oswalt, Matt Stone, Diablo Cody and Bill Hader.
You owe it to yourself to get this series. You owe it to everyone you know to introduce them to this series. You owe it to Tim and Daisy and Mike and Brian and Twist and Marsha and yes even to Tyres O'Flaherty to witness their lives in motion.

Spaced is one of the few shows that use pop culture references where and how they make sense. When Tim berates a child for wanting a Jar Jar action figure because Phantom Menace was crap and loses his job, it makes sense. I wanted to cry over Phantom Menace too. I know my thought process is a lot like those of the characters in this show. Rapid fire and full of iconic lines and scenarios crammed in there willy nilly just waiting for a chance to be needed.

Sigh, my mind works like a Looney Tunes cartoon.....

Spaced is also the series that inspired Simon and Edgar to begin Shaun of the Dead, and for that alone you must buy the set. Tim gets too stoned while playing Resident Evil 2 then dragged to a performance art show where he starts hallucinating zombies. I kid you not.
So go out and buy Spaced. Street price is around $35-$40, and it's well worth it.

be-de, be-de, be-de that's all folks.

Updates To Shake A Stick At, If That's Your Kinda Thing

2008-07-22T11:58:00.014-04:00

Since I'm stuck taking an online Driver Safety course (I got caught speeding, first time) I thought it would be fun to give some updates on things I've previously written about. Well, fun and less time consuming. Damn my lead foot!

Back on Feb 7th I wrote this piece on the upcoming Oneechanbara film.

http://allthecoolgeeks.blogspot.com/2008/02/where-have-all-cowgirls-gone.html

Oneechanbara Trailer

I'm happy to say that the film has been released and premiered at the
New York Asian Film Festival last month. Is it good? I don't know. Am I gonna see it? First damn chance I get!

Oneechanbara is also heading to US game consoles early next year with Oneechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers at a budget price for the Nintendo Wii.

Japanese Game Trailer

In other resurgent video game news, on Feb 15th I reported on the Capcom/New Line legal battle over the Dead Rising game.

http://allthecoolgeeks.blogspot.com/2008/02/dont-zombies-have-anywhere-else-to-hang.html

While I haven't been able to find any new info on the lawsuit, which George Romero knew nothing about. It seems like you can't keep a good zombie game down.
Dead Rising has been retitled and ported to the Nintendo Wii. More than likely the Wii version will bee a bit easier to get through as several game elements have been tweaked and they are adopting the Resident Wii-vil 4 control scheme to take advantage of the Wii-mote. The newish title, Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop will hit stores this winter.

In additional Dead Rising news there are several rumors floating around that Dead Rising 2 is in the works, this time by a western studio. Taken out of the Colorado shopping centers. Frank West the protagonist of Dead Rising may be working on his tan while bashing zombies in LA or Vegas. Can we expect more lawsuits since Resident Evil: Extinction also takes place in and near Vegas? I really hope not.

If you don't know there is a film version of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons award winning graphic novel The Watchmen on the way you must have missed my March 10th post.

http://allthecoolgeeks.blogspot.com/2008/03/so-whos-watching.html

You are probably one of the handful of people who went to Mamma Mia this past weekend and skipped Dark Knight, so you missed the awesome trailer. There's no reason you couldn't see both, you know. Actually, if you're not aware of The Watchmen, I'm going to assume you landed on this site by accident, which is strange since I'm not aware of a blogsite called all the cool greeks.
Watchmen has a theater date of March 6th 2009. It's written by (voice of Solid Snake) Dennis Hayter (X Men & X Men 2) and directed by Zack Snyder (300 & Dawn of the Dead). If you missed the trailer, I'm feeling generous so here it is.

Finally, The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman is currently my favorite comic. A sentiment I made pretty clear on March 28th.

http://allthecoolgeeks.blogspot.com/2008/03/marvel-zombies-vs-walking-dead.html

Since then The Walking Dead volume 8 has been released collecting issues 43 -48, and issue 50 hit the shelves a few weeks ago. If you are not reading this book there is something wrong with you. Not that I'm judging but really, you should get checked out or something. The Walking Dead isn't a typical zombie book. This book is about people, survivors first, and it's a pretty compelling and oftentimes brutal read. Issue 50 is a great jumping on point for people afraid to start a book without knowing who the characters, and what the situations are. It's a fresh start for us series veterans who need a breather after the emotional roller coaster we've just ridden. It's also a new beginning for those just coming to a series they'd like to feel invested in. Walking Dead collections can be found in most major bookstores and at Amazon. New and back issues, as well as collections can be found in your local comic shop.

So that's it for my updates. I've now gotta go study up on my 3 E's.
(Education, Engineering and Enforcement)

See you on the roads!

Introduction To The Hammer

2008-07-17T09:07:00.002-04:00

Just a quick reminder that Doctor Horribles Sing Along Blog part 2 is up for your viewing pleasure. You can still catch part 1, but remember it all comes down on the 20th. Part 3 is up on Saturday the 19th.
Watch it, learn the songs, there will be a quiz later.

Doctor Horrible Is Awesome!!!

2008-07-15T09:28:00.005-04:00

Doctor Horrible part 1 is online, and it is AWESOME!!!

To catch it click here. I mean, you can finish reading this, but then clicking here is absolutely imperative. I won't even feel bad if you click here before you finish reading this. Doctor Horrible will only be up for a limited time while these words will be here forever.
In truth there's no reason you shouldn't click here right now.

What excuse could you possibly have?
That meeting can wait, they're not going anywhere.
If it's important, they'll call back.
Really, what are the chances the baby's gonna develop the reasoning to stick a wet finger into an open socket in the next twelve minutes?
Let grandma lie there, she knows better than to reach for the cookie jar. let her muse awhile on what that cookie would've done to her diabetes.
You can hold it for a lousy 12 minutes. I said you can hold it!

So you see, there is no reason to not click here. Don't go to another sight first, you'll just get distracted with what world leader is screwing what people now. Possibly get sucked into the whole how much is a picture of this celebrities baby gonna cost controversy.

While I'm at it, if I can go off on a tangent.
What the heck is up with celebrity baby pictures? My friends have kids and it's all I can do to keep my inbox empty enough to receive other mail. Aww, look how cute he/she/it is still covered with placenta and umbilical cord. Here's the latest video of our baby sleeping, at about the 10 minute mark he/she/it makes a little fist, Awwww. Here's us bringing the baby home, if you squint really hard you can kinda see some bald head peeking out from the 32 blankets we have him/her/it wrapped in.
Then you get that picture every year for Christmas in the same outfit only several sizes bigger.
Only celebrities would think of selling their baby pictures. Honestly, all you need is one shot of Winston Churchill and you're pretty much covered in the baby picture category. What do we really care anyway? Face it, by the time these over privileged kids are old enough to have their own reality show we will hate them. We will be so over saturated with their American royalty status it will be all we can do to avoid news about them. Two words for you Paris Hilton.
Honestly, the only celebrity baby picture I would want to see would be on the cover of Weekly World News.
That's the end of my tangent.

Back to Doctor Horrible...

Here's all the reasons you should click here right now.
Doctor Horrible is Awesome, but I covered that already.
It will only be online for a limited time. It will be shut down on the 20th.
Neil Patrick Harris is amazing.
Nathan Fillion plays a jerk.
Felicia Day is cute and wonderful.
Simon Helberg is Moist.
The songs will stick in your head and make you smile.
Joss Whedon, need I say more?
The world's a mess and I just need to rule it.
It's curtains for you Doctor Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.
It's only a little over 12 minutes long for part 1.

So what are you still doing here, when you can click here?
I wont mind.
You'll be glad you did.

Darkly Drawing Dexter

2008-07-11T15:14:00.011-04:00

There are a lot of shows I watch regularly, but few that I need to watch as they air. (thank you DVR)
The Showtime original series Dexter is one of those shows. Based on the novels by Jeff Lindsay, (I'm working on the first) Dexter is one of those shows that hooks you in and won't let you leave unless it's in several plastic garbage bags drifting on a warm Miami undercurrent.

For the uninitiated, and those with basic cable. Dexter is the story of blood spatter analyst for the Miami Dade PD, Dexter Morgan. He's an incredibly likable guy. He's devoted to his job, his friends on the force including his adoptive sister Debra the foulest talking cop in the precinct. He has a beautiful, if not damaged girlfriend and her two kids he deeply cares for.

He's also a murderous sociopath.

Fortunately for Dexter, and the rest of the city. He was adopted by Officer Harry Morgan after witnessing his mother being killed. Harry recognized Dexters impulses for what they were, and instilled in Dexter a code to live by. A moral compass to substitute for missing morality. Dexter uses this code to enact justice on killers and rapists who have somehow escaped traditional punishment.

Dexter is a brilliantly written program. Nothing is easy in Dexters life and there were moments in the second season where I swore there was no way out for our anti-hero. Good thing the writers on this show are a lot smarter than I am since it's surprises like last seasons that keep me coming back.

Of course the best writing in the world couldn't save poor acting. Fortunately Dexter has some top notch talent talking the talk.

Michael C Hall (Six Feet Under) is so disarming as Dexter that it makes his moments of insanity blaze off the screen.

Jennifer Carpenter (The Exorcism of Emily Rose) plays his sister Debra, and trust me, she is every girl you ever wanted to date rolled into one, except she has the lousiest taste in men and she would kick your butt then laugh about it with your best friend later over burbon shots.

Julie Benz (Angel, Buffy) is Rita. Dexters single mom anchor to normalcy. Except nothing is normal with Rita. She is severly damaged from a disastrous marriage and slowly starting to heal from it.

Lauren Velez as the nihilistic Lt. Laquerta, C.S. Lee as wisecracking Vince Masuka and David Zayas as Angel Batista the closest thing to a true friend Dexter has rounds out the excellent cast of regulars.

Both seasons of Dexter are available on DVD and I strongly recommend watching them. A third season is on it's way this fall and I couldn't be more excited for a returning show. This excitement is exacerbated by the amazing image above sent to me by the far hotter of the Scalin siblings, the babelicious Miss Mica. Check her out at MicaWave.
The image is indeed done by Shepard Fairey of Obey fame and will be promoting Dexter at this years San Diego Comic Con at the end of this month.

Charlies Angel

2008-07-09T08:15:00.004-04:00

Not to go all Perez Hilton on you, but it's been reported that Mac Guy Justin Long and amazingly adorable, free spirited, Letterman flashing actress Drew Barrymore have called it quits. Way I see it I'm back in the running. My wife understands. So Drew, we know you like the dorky guys. What do you say?

Angel Eyes, Am I Deceived Or Did You Sigh?

2008-07-08T15:41:00.013-04:00

I don't know if it counts as geeky or not, but I feel a need to let you know about Luc Bessons late 2005 romantic noir fantasy Angel-A. I completely forgot I had thrown this on my Netflix queue, and in truth was expecting the 3rd disc in the anime series Black Lagoon when I tore open the bright red envelope.

This was definitely a case of getting a book for it's cover since I had seen the DVD box at a Blockbuster and the image had me so intrigued that I had to see it not even really knowing what it was about.

Released here in 2007, Angel-A is the story of a down on his luck, in debt Arab American (green card) low rent criminal named Andre played by Jamel Debbouze. After some unsuccessful attempts at extending his debt deadlines, and unable to even get himself arrested, Andre decides to end his life by jumping off a bridge into the river Seine.
He meets Angela played by the beautiful Rie Rasmussen who apparently has the same idea and jumps first. Andre, of course jumps in to save her, but who's really doing the saving?

In researching this film I couldn't believe the effect Luc Bessons work has on people. there doesn't seem to be a middle ground, he's either hated or loved. Someone had even said that The Professional was his litmus test for personal relations. "If you like that movie, I can't even talk to you." It's all a bit extreme, I have a friend who doesn't like Fifth Element, but I'm not gonna leave a burning bag of dog poop at his door. Now if he hated Dawn of the Dead.......well that's just stupid (wink).

I have to wonder, am I not hipster enough to hate Luc Bessons work? Does French cinema need to be 3 hours long and incomprehensible to be good? Is Luc Besson too easily translated to an American audience (The Professional, Nikita, Fifth Element, Subway) to be considered a true French artist. Opinions of his work are very polarized.

Polarized is a good way to describe Angel-A as well. Everything in this film is contrasted. Andre is short and Angela is tall. He is dark, she is light. The film itself is in black and white with amazing cinematography by Thierry Arbogast. Paris itself becomes a character in the film and the movie takes us to some amazing locales.
This isn't a heavy movie. Definitely not as heavy as "It's a Wonderful Life" that it's clearly influenced by. You don't have to watch it with a box of tissues by your side in case a fly gets in your eye. There is nothing too deep in the dialogue or the characterization. Some may see it as too simple but once the players start exhibiting shades of gray it would throw the whole light/dark balance off. Some pop psychology platitudes rear their ugly heads, but again, I think it works here.

Maybe I just identify too much with Andre, and maybe, just maybe here is where Angel-A ties into my geek lifestyle. Andre sees himself as a loser, unable to fit in and inept at all he does. Who hasn't felt like that? Upon meeting Angela he tell her when he looks in the mirror he sees shit. In one of the movies more touching moments she forces him to look at himself in the mirror and asks him what he sees. I don't know. He replies. See, your making progress already, you don't see shit. Is her comeback.

Angel-A is one of those rare romantic fantasies you can watch with a significant other and not feel you've been roped into a "chick film". Andres treatment of Angela can be crass at times but instead of condemning him for it, I'm taking cultural differences in account. Besides, if I had a beautiful leggy blonde following me around wanting to do nothing but help me, you can bet your butt I would find a way to screw that up ASAP!
Right ladies?

So if you're looking for a movie that's easy on the eyes, mind and heart (with a killer soundtrack) you may want to check out Angel-A.

By the way, if you do see this movie and wonder if you missed something because Andre always has his right hand in his pocket. Wonder no more. Jamel Debbouze lost his right hand at the age of 15. His signature move is to keep the stump hidden.

Telephone Call For Mr. Horrible....

2008-07-03T09:13:00.008-04:00

I've been saving this one since Noah pointed me in it's direction. How I missed it? I can only assume there was some sort of planetary alignment, or I was infected by an intergalactic parasite that rendered me temporarily incapable of of discovering or recognizing awesomeness. (That would explain the new Heidi Montag song I found...far, far from awesomeness. In fact, anti-awesome if there could be such a thing)

So, as Joss Whedon explains in his Master Plan. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog was conceived during the writers strike as an alternative way to do business. I.e., bringing entertainment to the public for fun and profit while circumnavigating the hollywood business model. I.e., money grubbing studio execs who'd rather fill our lives with unscripted pablum till the section of our brains that recognize art start reacting to accidental crotch hits (funny, but not art) and gaggles of losers vying for the amorous attention of yet another loser who everyone knows will be back for another season sans this seasons winner/real loser.

Joss tells it with far less bitterness and much more of the funny, so I suggest reading it..there are Forest Kings....Ohhhhhh.

Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog will premier with act one "Wheee" on July 15th. Act two follows "OMG" on July 17th, and the final act "Denoument!" is up on July 19th. Word of caution. The whole thing comes down midnight July 20th. After which it will be available as a modestly priced download, and eventually as a dvd with tons of extras.
I know I'll be watching, and I'll try to get a reminder out early each day another episode appears along with a short review.

If you're a Buffy fan, you may remember an episode called "Once More With Feeling" where Joss tapped into his inner Sondheim and gave us a genre musical episode. If you haven't seen it I strongly suggest seeking it out.
Dr. Horrible is Mr. Whedons second stab at a musical. This time about a shy evil Doctor and the hero who thwarts his plans.

Whedonverse regular Nathan Fillion (Firefly, Serenity, Buffy) plays Captain Hammer (the hero, natch) and Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie, How I Met Your Mother - ser) stretches his acting chops to portray the titular Doctor Horrible. (just don't know if I see NPH as a Dr.)

Judging by the talent involved this should be, to quote another NPH character, awesome! and legendary!

If you want a little taste of the characters check out the online Captain Hammer comic at Dark Horse Presents. While you're there check out the back issues featuring additional work by Joss Whedon as well as new Umbrella Academy by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba and work by my old friends Bob Fingerman and John Arcudi and many more. Get used to the web comics folks, something tells me your going to hear a lot more about them before too long.

Now for your viewing pleasure, a trailer.

Teaser from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo.

Objection!!! There's A Weenie In My VideoGame

2008-07-02T15:00:00.005-04:00

I'm a big fan of the Phoenix Wright videogames for the Nintendo Gameboy and Nintendo DS. For those unfamiliar with the series. Phoenix Wright is a young defense attorney with a spirit medium as a partner. Each case features odd characters, odder situations and logic that will often have you ready to bang your head against the wall. Twisted logic aside the games are amazingly fun. There are currently 3 games available. Ace Attorney, Justice For All and Trials and Tribulations all available for the DS.
Though the Phoenix Wright storyline ends with Trials and Tribulations, Nintendo has continued the Ace Attorney franchise featuring a new litigator Apollo Justice. I haven't played this one yet, but if it's anything like the Phoenix games, I'm sure I'll enjoy it.
Anyway, while playing Trials and Tribulations I came across these two game screens featuring everyones favorite bumbling detective Dick Gumshoe.
I got such a laugh out of them I thought I would share.
Enjoy.......

Doctor Who,.... Hey!,.... The Tardis

2008-06-27T08:26:00.013-04:00

The only show I ever write about with any regularity is the incredibly funny 30 Rock, and that's less a review than it is a recitation of all the lines I thought were funny. Not to mention there's always the off chance that Tina Fey will read it and reach an epiphany that I am truly the man for her. We will all convert to Mormanism (?) and live out the rest of our lives in polygamous geeky goofiness.

That doesn't mean there aren't other shows I follow. Quite honestly, if it wasn't for tv I'd have no social life, since I am firmly convinced that is where all my friends live.
Timelord, (I know who you are Dr.F) want's to see some Doctor Who love, and rightly so. Since it's revamping by Russell T Davies this amaranthine series has gotten better with each season surviving numerous cast changes, and spawning two spin-offs. Hard to believe we're only in the fifth season.

The end of this season sees the departure of Mr. Davies as creative head. Steven Moffat the man responsible for the creepiest and possibly most creative episodes since the relaunch, ("Blink" may be one of the scariest things I've seen on tv, on par if not exceeding Buffys "Hush") will be taking over which can only mean good things for the show. Sadly, after this current season we will not see the Doctor till 2010. There has been some promise of specials over the next year, one which may feature Jennifer Saunders (Absolutely Fabulous) as the first female Doctor, but I've learned not to hold my breath.

Bottom line, if you're not watching Doctor Who, what the heck is wrong with you. The show's been on 45 years! That should tell you something. I have heard the episodes currently running on the Sci-Fi channel are edited down from their BBC original length, but the edited episodes can be seen in their entirety on the DVD boxed sets which are worth renting. The BBC sets are still way overpriced unfortunately.

Past seasons are currently re-running on BBC America. I don't know if they are unedited.
Currently the Doctor, brilliantly portrayed by David Tennant is accompanied by the headstrong Donna Noble played by comedian Catherine Tate. Past companions since the relaunch have been the Doctors lost love and fan favorite Rose Tyler (Billie Piper) and Martha Jones. (Freema Agyeman - possibly the most beautiful woman in Sci-Fi today) A recent episode also introduced the Doctors cloned daughter Jenny played by the 5th Doctor, Peter Davisons daughter Georgia Moffett. She took off to save the universe, so I'm hoping we'll see more of her.
So to summerize:
Time travel, dashing heroes, beautiful companions, humor, tragedy, fear, lots of running, the longest sci-fi pedigree ever! They finally showed us how the Daleks climb stairs. What more can you want?

Before you go, check out this clip from Comic Relief where Catherine Tates character Lauren meets her new english teacher.

What Do You Do With A Drunken Hero?

2008-06-26T14:08:00.011-04:00

Before I start my review I’d like to make a statement. While I am truly sorry you could not find a babysitter for the evening, there is no, I repeat NO! excuse for bringing a newborn to a movie. If your kid is small enough to fit in a large handbag or backpack they probably should not be in a disease infested dark room with flashing lights and 110 decibels of sound. Stay at home! That’s what a good conscientious neighbor would do. I have no children. What makes you think I want to hear your colicy spawn wail for 45 minutes? If I wanted that, I have Yoko Ono CDs to listen to. Don’t you think it’s about time the megaplexes realize that babies shouldn’t be allowed into the theaters? To my knowledge, I have never been to a film where there is a baby present that has not started crying 30 – 40 minutes in. Maybe these mothers like the attention they get when they finally leave their seat and the applause starts. All I have to say to the inconsiderate sow that thought bringing a newborn into the screening of Hancock at the Regal 20 in Virginia Center Commons on 6/25 and forcing us to listen to it cry for a good 45 minutes is this.

Just because your parenting skills no longer allow you to hear the cries of your infant, doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t. You are a narcissistic, inconsiderate sorry excuse of a person. I hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes of negative fame, and while I wish no ill on your child, after all the lights and the sound probably had the kid feeling like a detainee in Abu Gharib, I hope your child gives you no end of trouble, particularly in its teen years.

Now on to the review.

As always I will avoid spoilers.

If you’ve been searching around for reviews of Hancock, the new superhero flick from director Peter Berg which stars Will Smith, Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron. Chances are you came upon the blasting the film took in the Latino Review a month ago. I’m not sure what movie they were watching, but the studio has definitely made some cuts since then. The R rating has been dropped to a PG13, which in this case probably helped the film.

If you’re looking for a superhero film, let me warn you, Hancock may not be what you’re looking for. I suggest catching Iron Man or the Hulk again, or if you can wait, Batman and Hellboy will be here soon enough. There are superheroics in Hancock, often with hilarious results, but it’s not the meat of the movie, or even what drives the film forward.

Hancock is a movie about people first and foremost. The best way I can describe it in comic terms is where all the other hero flicks (excluding Hellboy) are primarily Marvel and DC associated. Hancock comes off like something from a good indie publisher or DCs Vertigo line. It doesn’t need to follow the superhero script but dabbles in it just enough where I could understand the movie confusing some people.

Hancock does make quite a turn in the 3^rd act, and I applaud their decision. This film could have easily become an afterschool special treading down a safe and easy road of personal redemption or failure. It could have heavy handedly beat us down with yet another message of responsibilities and heroics. Instead we got a superhero movie with no super villain, no end of the world scenario and no real gimmicks.

The basic story is this. Will Smith is John Hancock, a being of extraordinary powers who drinks too much, feels compelled to do good, but is too angry and lonely to care how.

As an aside, I’m not sure if Smith or director Peter Berg had planned on evoking an image of our own returning vets, but I kinda got that vibe. Regardless of your feelings on the War, and I think most of us are in the same frame of mind. Men and women are sacrificing everything. Many who do return home find they have no home to come back to, losing their jobs and their families, they are greeted with scorn and contempt for taking part in an action too few support. If nothing else they deserve our compassion. I’ll get off the soapbox now.

Hancock meets Ray Embrey a Public Relations man who wants to save the world, but can’t get any backers for his pet project since it requires corporate sacrifice. Ray devises a way to clean up Hancocks image, which of course requires personal sacrifice on Hancocks part. Hancock reluctantly agrees, and that’s about all I can tell you without giving anything away.

I will tell you this though. The trailers downplay Charlize Therons role in the film, but the story of Hancock is definitely about 3 people. Most hero films spend as much time if not more introducing villains and telling their origins than they do with the actual hero. (did we really need Green Goblin in 3 Spiderman films?) Problem is most of the villains origins just aren’t that interesting. Since Hancock has no villain they spare us the exposition and give us more of what we want. Screen time with what may be 3 of the most charismatic screen presences today.

Will Smith has proven he could carry a film on his own and his turn as the besotted Hancock allows him to be as funny as he is tragic. What do you expect from the only guy on a tv sitcom you ever wanted to hang out with.

Jason Bateman always delivers and he has great chemistry with Smith. The scenes where he is training Hancock to be gracious are hilarious. You really believe this regular Joe has the force of conviction to stand up to an omnipotent being and tell him like it is.

I could write chapters on Charlize Theron. She always surprises me, and I almost never recognize her from one role to the next. Her turn here as Rays wife Mary is as heartbreaking as it is surprising.

Hancock has its share of action sequences, some of which are too hastily edited, but that seems to be the trend these days. The effects are great and have an as rooted in reality feel to them as they can. (Why didn’t the Hulk leave potholes whenever he jumped?) The script is tight, and while the story does take a sharp turn if you just ride it out you’ll find it’s a novel approach to an old concept. Just don’t expect to come away with more answers than questions. There are some very funny moments and if I had to categorize, I would consider Hancock a superhero dramedy. Just don’t expect a laugh riot from beginning to end.

Overall I recommend Hancock to anyone looking to go beyond the summers popcorn fare to a more adult thinking mans superhero flick.

Just do us a favor? Leave the baby with a sitter.

Baby photos by Jill Greenberg

Seven Words You Never Wanted To Say

2008-06-23T06:15:00.003-04:00

George Carlin, May he Rest In Peace.

I'm A Highly Evolved Being, And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt

2008-06-20T17:32:00.003-04:00

I know, I know. I made a vow to keep to this about 3 times a week and I've already reneged. Let's be honest here though, I said this month would be a bear at work, and so far I've at least been honest about that. Besides you wouldn't want to argue with a highly evolved individual such as myself would you?
What makes me think I'm highly evolved.......?

SCIENCE! (stab your finger in the air if you're reading this aloud)

According to Meridith Small an author and anthropologist at Cornell University as well as a frequent contributor to Live Science and Katherine Rankin a Neurophysiologist at the University of California, sarcasm, yes sarcasm is an evolutionary survival skill and plays an important part in human social interaction.

If this is true, Groucho Marx and Bob Hope may have been the most highly evolved beings in our lifetime. Take that Dalai Lama!
All those years being told sarcasm was the lowest form of humor, or that my sarcasm was gonna get me popped in the mouth one day, (it hasn't) or even worse, sarcasm is a character flaw have all been lies. Lies perpetuated by those lower on the evolutionary scale than I. Let me tell you, this takes a load off my mind. No really, you don't know how....free I feel. How, what's the word? Unfettered.

Not only am I evolved, but the article goes on further to state that people who don't get sarcasm are damaged! Something wrong with that guy. Don't leave him alone with the kids, if you know what I mean. That guys got something wrong...bam! Right in the ol' parahippocampal gyrus. He's got a screw loose in the right side of his brain, man.

I feel sorry for the guy who doesn't get sarcasm, but there must be a lot of them cause Brad Garret keeps getting sitcoms while Arrested Development gets cancelled. Yes I'm still crying about that, deal with it!

So, new vow. I promise to be as positively funny and simultaneously as negatively nasty as possible, whenever possible. The kid gloves are off my friends. Witness my meteoric rise up the evolutionary ladder and quake, yes quake at the majesticness of a highly evolved bittingly witty being such as myself.

Or it could just be more of the same old, same old. Many of you won't know, cause you just....won't....get...it.

If you want to read the article you can find it here at Live Science.

Machine Girl Is Awesome!

2008-06-13T13:36:00.013-04:00

Every now and then something comes along that is so perfect, so right that for a brief moment everything in the universe seems to make sense. In the world of genre films it's hitting on all the best points of what makes those films fun while eliminating all the filler that bogs down a good 90% of them.
Shaun of the Dead was one such film. Kill Bill was another mixing together genres with such precision that the only thing missing was a MechaBride fighting a giant rubber suited mutant Bill while Shaw Brothers vampire/zombies with 3 inch fangs hopped through Tokyo decimating the populace, but that would just be silly. Robert Rodriguez' Planet Terror taught me the only thing better than Rose McGowan with a machine gun leg , would be Rose McGowan with two machine gun legs, plus they killed Fergie.

This kind of cinematic synchronicity does not occur often. The fact that the past few years has seen some exceptions to the drought of good exploitation, I believe is wholly attributed to the fact that there are more people who grew up with similar interests now in the drivers seat.

This brings me to Machine Girl otherwise known as Kataude Mashin Garu written and Directed by 39 year old Noboru Iguchi.

My short review would be Machine Girl is awesome! Unfortunately short reviews are for punks so I gotta keep going.

Machine Girl stars Minase Yashiro as Ami, a pretty high schooler who's a bit of a tomboy. Ami cares for her younger brother Yu since their parents committed suicide after a supposed murder frame up leaving the kids to fend for themselves.
Amis brother and his best friend Takashi are killed by an extorting bully who is also the son of a Yakuza Ninja couple who are a few rice balls short of a bento box.

Of course the only way for a young girl to get justice is to seek revenge on the boys who killed her brother. Maybe that murder frame up in her families past wasn't such a frame up since Ami seems really quick to turn to homicidal tendencies. Even her brother had a list in his diary of people he wanted to kill, which leads Ami in her schoolgirl uniform to her first violent confrontation with a family of one of her brothers killers.

I don't think I'm giving anything away by revealing Ami eventually loses an arm in her quest for bloody vengeance. This leads to an alliance with Takashis mechanic parents. Miki, excellently played by Japanese AV star Asami, takes her under her wing and trains Ami to fight while Sugeru, the father, constructs a machine gun arm to replace Ami's missing limb.

There is one other star of this film. Arterial spray. This flick shoots as much of the red stuff as any Lone Wolf and Cub film. Doesn't matter if you lose a finger or get stabbed in the head. Blood will spurt in unbelievable amounts. Half the film seems to be filmed in a pink mist, and that's fine by me. I haven't seen exaggerated maiming like this since the classic Story Of Ricky-O. As outrageous as Ricky-O was, the violence seems even stronger when it centers around a beautiful girl with an amazing smile.

I gotta tell you. Guy or gal, if you don't fall in love with the screen combo of Ami and Miki then your tastes probably run to the ultra fetishist or non human since both women are gorgeous, tough and sexy.

There are so many high points to this film. The Red Junior High School Ninjas, the Super Mourners Gang comprised of parents of boys Ami has taken revenge on. A chainsaw leg and a drill bra, I'll wait for that one to sink in, A Drill BRA rounding out the mechanics of destruction. Finger sushi, face nailing, the list goes on and on!

Machine Girl is a near perfect modern revenge flick. It is thoroughly entertaining and never takes itself too seriously. Of course if you don't like gore for gores sake, you may want to skip this one. I recommend putting the kids to sleep, getting some friends over and creating a drinking game based on this film and the copious amount of bloodletting. You'll be drunk before the credits roll.

Machine Girl moves into my top list of films to join such classics as Shaun and Dawn of the Dead, Battle Royale and Kill Bill to name a few. It is available from Amazon for a measly 13 bucks or through Netflix.

Still not sure? Check out the trailer:

Retraction Of The Lost Ark

2008-06-13T13:28:00.002-04:00

I mistakenly assumed that Lego Indiana Jones was a $60 game on Next-Gen systems. Price ranges from $30 - $50 depending on the system. Sorry for the confusion.

Raider Of The Lost Block

2008-06-11T14:04:00.003-04:00

Whenever I buy a gift for one of my many nieces or nephews, one toy jumps first to my mind. Lego, the colorful, interlocking, imagination encouraging, building block of any childs world. As a kid I built everything from spaceships to high rises, and as an adult I still feel the call from the Lego aisle every time I go to Target.
I would never imagine a videogame based on Lego building blocks to be enjoyable to anyone past the age of 9. Imagine my surprise when I found myself obsessively collecting studs and kit parts in both Lego Star Wars games. Striving for that 100 percent completion. Lego Star Wars played like reading a Harry Potter novel. You could always go that extra page, find that extra item. In fact, if there was one franchise, besides the upcoming Batman, that I would like to see get the Lego game treatment, It would be Harry Potter. I'll get to why in a bit. For now I want to talk about Lego Indiana Jones.
The fun factor of the Star Wars games put Lego Indiana Jones high on my radar. I knew it would be more of the same, but stud collecting has such a satisfying sound, that I was really looking forward to it. Plus, what guy doesn't want to be Indy? Cracking the whip, fighting nazis, solving puzzles. I only wonder why they really didn't do all that effectively in this game. Sure the elements are there, but the game is plagued by cheap hits, repetitive characters and bland unforgiving level design.
Lego Indiana Jones is not a bad game. As a matter of fact, it makes a great weekend rental as I played through the game in about 6 hours with about 60% collected and I enjoyed it. If 10 bucks an hour is your idea of the price of entertainment, then this game may even be a buy for you, but I couldn't imagine 100% collection in this game taking more than 12 hours, but there's really not 12 hours of enjoyment packed in the game.
I have no choice but to compare Lego Star Wars with Lego Indiana Jones as the game mechanics are so similar, but it's the differences in the two that really make the difference between a good game and a great game.
Let's start with characters first. Lego Star Wars had you collecting characters from the different movies, but all the characters had unique looks and personalities and sounds. From Ewoks to Jar Jar Binks, they were fun to collect.
Lego Indy has you collecting Thugee Cultists and Nazis and scholars and that's about it. Almost every character in the game plays identically and each type has a generic look.
Indy has a whip which he can use to swing, but instead of giving us a cool swinging like Spiderman level, the whip is used for little more than single swings.
Where films Indiana Jones uses his whip with deadly accuracy, the whip in the game is virtually useless against enemies, especially since most of them are shooting at you. The whip also shares a button with your building action and often gets you into more trouble than not.
The best character in the game is probably Willie from the second film. Not only do women jump higher, but Willie can also shatter glass obstacles with her voice as well as pick up dropped weapons like any other character.
Other character mechanics are, short characters can crawl through hatches, scholars can solve simple four tile memory puzzles and thugees can pray to statues to open hidden areas.
All combat is through fist, firearm or blade. This is where the game falls flattest. Most enemies carry firearms and fire at you from off screen leading to lots of cheap kills. It's true you can't truly die in the game, but that doesn't mean I want to be blown up by a bazooka from off camera each time I respawn. Arrow indicators pointing to off screen enemies, as many games do, would be a great addition.
One of the enjoyments in Lego Star Wars was using dark or light force powers in combat. It gave the game variety. Indy doesn't have that. This is also one of the reasons I think a Harry Potter Lego game would work (thought I forgot, huh) Interesting characters and creatures with unique abilities and magic. Huge bosses like the ogre, or a dragon and animal familiars. It would be a classic. Now back to Indy.
Cheap hits aren't the only killer in the game. Many of the jumping mechanics take such precision that it borders on frustrating. If a 40 something hardcore gamer is having trouble jumping to a platform because of a lousy camera angle, is a kid going to fare any better? (probably) Sometimes the difference between a successful jump was a fraction of a 16th of an inch one side or the other at an angle that made no sense for the jump to work. A miss may mean your character respawning and falling off the edge over and over till you happen to press the change character button just at the right time to stay alive.
Lego Star wars has you collecting ship parts or kits from each level to build the many iconic vehicle found in the movies. This ties back with building spaceships as a child. It's fun, and since we know what they look like we want to complete them. In Indy we collect artifact pieces. I don't care what they look like and I'm not truly motivated to find out.
There are also no exotic locations. You have a jungle, or a cave, or a desert camp and different varieties of the same. Many of the indoor locations don't have the same huge feel as the Star Wars games.
There were some interesting additions that were also underused such as the phobias. Indy is afraid of snakes and is ineffective when they are around, other characters fear spiders or rats. This could have been a great mechanic, but it was sorely underused and did not truly impact game play.
In one jungle location the game makes a point of telling you an elephant can grab items. Just out of reach bananas which can be used to trade for a crucial item, such as a key, with a monkey seems like an obvious item for an elephant to grab. After 10 minutes I discover I need to use my whip to grab the banana right from the edge of a one hit kill muddy swamp. Using the whip pushes you a bit forward so this lead to more frustrating deaths.
Don't get me started on vehicle control, no seriously don't. You're better off walking. Trust me. it's a shame they force you to drive. Nuff said.
So what was fun, you ask. Well, it's still a Lego game and has great humor and for the most part addictive gameplay, just not on the level with Star Wars. It's still fun to play through the movies, and when the game shows personality it rises above most. Like I said a great solid rental.
There are 5 Star Wars characters to find. I found R2, Threepio, Chewie and Luke. Finding all characters gives you the ability to play the game as Han Solo. Basically another guy with a gun, I'd prefer to play as Luke with his force powers, or how about a character from another Spielberg film? You're fighting nazis so how about Schindler or Private Ryan or Wild Bill Kelso from 1941? (that would be awesome) Even a young JG Ballard from Empire of the Sun. I'd also accept the Goonies or Freakazoid, but Han Solo? Ok, I get it. Harrison Ford, I'd prefer the Harrison from American Graffiti in his tricked out muscle car, but that's just me.
There is an additional level you can unlock to play as young Indiana, but I was not compelled enough to get the completion level necessary to unlock it.
If you're looking for a quick fun game, then put Lego Indiana Jones on your rental list. I'd even go so far to say if the game came down in price, it would be worth a buy. Just don't expect a lot out of it.
I'm holding out for Lego Batman as there are probably enough vehicles, gadgets and variety of villains to give Lego Star Wars a challenge.

Lego Indiana Jones was developed by Lucasarts and is available for the Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360 as well as Nintendo DS, PSP, PS2 and PC.

I Want A New Toy

2008-06-09T11:45:00.022-04:00

This guy showed up a while back, but I lazed out on writing about him. I mentioned back in February that I was going to pre-order which I hate to do. When it comes to ordering things I revert back into a five year old and check the ship date with such regularity you would swear I had OCD.

His official title is Subject 805: Tactical Containment Unit Operator. I don't know what that is, but it looks cool on paper. He's from Sideshow Collectibles, and part of their original The Dead line.
If you're not familiar with Sideshow you should check them out. They make figures for a lot of licensed products and you'll probably see something you like.

Now, I have a lot of toys, but the pride of my collection are my 1/6th scale (12") military figures. I don't think I ever grew out of my original GI Joe phase as they were my faves as a child. There are several companies producing these such as Dragon and Blue Box. They are made to be as historically accurate as possible down to the slightest detail. Weapons may be metal with moving parts and removable clips. Buckles snaps and belts all work. Even the zippers are scaled down in size to make sense with the uniforms. All in all, they are true collectors pieces.

It looks like Sideshow Toys is giving this fanboy what he wants by creating an army of undead to battle the army I've been amassing over the years.

First thing you'll notice on 805 is the face sculpt. Sideshow did an amazing job. It is obvious that 805 is loosely based on Dr. Tongue, one of the first zombies seen in George Romeros Day of the Dead. The skin color is perfect, and the face wound is particularly gruesome. The darker red on the inside of the tongue suggests bruising from biting down on it too much.

805 is missing his left hand, and if there is anyplace I could pick nits, this is it. The arm is locked at an angle, I would have preferred it pose able. At least ship the figure with an optional arm.

The uniform is basic blood spattered BDUs and a tactical vest. 805 ships with a radio headset, machine gun and a stand with The Dead logo printed on it. Other items in the box are paper documents which are impractical and shouldn't be unpacked.

The figure is solid though as are all Sideshow figures and short of the left arm, can hold a variety of realistic poses.
I'm pretty pleased with 805 since it combines my favorite toy type with my favorite subject, zombies.

I have a pre-order in for Subject 1025: The Babysitter as well. I'm also going to try for a Comic Con Babysitter exclusive, but I'm not to hopeful as those sell out fast.

Of course while it's great to have a zombie figure, this could lead to complications.

No sooner do I get him on my shelf........

Get it off! Get it off!!

Ahhh!

Take it down!

Fire at will!

Kapow

Don't you die on me!

You did all you could.

Holy crap he's alive!

Grrrr, Arrggh!

Something tells me I'm going to have a lot more zombies before too long.

If anyone knows photoshop and would like to gore these up, feel free.
Let me know if you do

All photos in this post are Creative Commons,
Attribution, Non-Commercial, Share Alike

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.

Something Is Still Wrong With My World View

2008-06-04T11:34:00.002-04:00

What is my obsession with accidental porn or smut or whatever? It just gives me a special little tingly feeling like I'm in on some dirty joke that needs to be made obvious. I found this a long time ago and probably laughed in the "Ethnic Foods" section of the Key Food for about 10 minutes.

It's Spicy

Kurt Shaped Box

2008-06-03T12:29:00.005-04:00

I had something planned for today, but I feel a need to put it off.
Begin rant in 5...4....3....2...1

Sometimes you read something that just gets your blood pumping. It fills you with such shock and awe that you stare incredulously into space simply trying to process it. Such was the case this morning when I read in the news that someone had broken into Courtney Loves home and stolen the remaining ashes and lock of hair of Kurt Cobain.

Think about that for a second....think about how it makes you feel.

Now before you start wondering if I'm a Hole or Nirvana fan, let me assure you that is not the issue here. Sure I loved Nevermind, but coming from an early punk background there was never anything truly new that Nirvana did that I hadn't heard 10 years before. I also enjoy Hole, but never listened to a full album till my wife moved in, and probably haven't since.

The point here is that someone stole cremains. Now I know this may seem like a minor crime in the eyes of many, particularly with the atrocities committed in the current global climate, and the lengths man will go to destroy man, but what does it say about us that I have become so inured by the bombardment of suffering we are made to witness on a daily basis that I am appalled by this unconscionable act of emotional torture.

According to the press Courtney has said she does not know what she'll do if she doesn't get them back, "it's like losing him all over again." The cremains and hair were kept in a small plastic bag shaped like a pink teddy bear so she could take them with her when she wanted to feel close to him.

Another thing I find shocking about this incident is the callousness this crime is treated with simply because of the victim. To insinuate that she snorted the ashes, or that the remains are not all she had left considering the settlement of Kurts estate is cold and unnecessary. Forgetting the fact that she is raising Kurts child, consider how you would feel should the remains of a loved one be stolen. Would it matter how much they left you in the will? Of course not. Why can't we afford Courtney Love the same sympathy we would for anyone in her situation?

Who do we feel sympathy for? Every star in Hollywood seems to want to help Britney or Lindsey to stop the trainwrecks that are their over privileged lives. One thing Courtney has never done is lie about who she is. Is that why she deserves less? A drug addict, musician and stripper who never properly recovered from a very public shocking death and forced to become a single mother at the age of 30 is less of a person than a 20 year old princess who has been given every opportunity and still willingly and knowingly destroys herself.

In this entertainer as royalty culture we live in try to remember the last person Courtney Love has been romantically linked to. I looked, I checked it out. Sure there are rumors of everyone from Bruce Willis to Pete Doherty, but they remained rumors. Nothing confirmed. The last person I could find Courtney Love romantically linked to was Kurt Cobain. A rarity in this who's doing who game played so publicly in Hollywood.

Having a reliquary is nothing new. Whether it's a ring, a box or a pink plastic teddy bear, the need to feel close to a lost loved one is very real. My wife made reliquary pendants for all her sisters, each containing the ashes of their mother. If this was ever lost.....I can't even imagine the sadness my wife would feel. I wish I had something left of my mother, but unfortunately was not in a clear enough mind upon her death to think that far ahead.

Before I go off on a tangent, let me just say that I hope the person or persons who perpetrated this obscene crime are found and punished. While it may be impossible to place a monetary value on someones cremains, the thief/thieves also took thousands of dollars in jewelry which should insure they at least face felony charges. Should Kurts ashes show up on Ebay or Craigslist or some other internet listing, I hope there are decent enough people out there who will report it, and not exploit it.

Maybe I'm hoping for too much

Does This Skull Make My Ass Look Fat?

2008-06-02T13:08:00.012-04:00

Vacation is over, and I may not have gone anywhere, unless Liberty City counts, I'm pretty well rested. Relatively clear of mind and ready to go. A lot of things to talk about, but who knows if I'll get to all of them. I'll try my best.

I want to send a huge birthday shout out to my good friend Noah creator and artist behind the Skull A Day project. Today also marks the last day of the project and the beginning of a much needed rest for this modern day renaissance man.

Yesterday a group of friends and fans gathered on Belle Isle to help Noah create his living Group Skull #364. Even though 9am on a Sunday felt a bit unreasonable for most to take part in an art project, everyone got into the swing of things as Noah composed the shot via walkie talkie to his two helpers on the ground. The results are, of course, amazing and I have no idea why or how Noah sees potential skulls everywhere while most people see random objects and shapes.

Is Skull A Day getting a rest? Not according to Noah who is going to launch Skull A Day 2.0, what exactly that means? Only he can say. The only thing I know is it won't be a daily project.

As I've said before. Noah's next project prominently includes yours truly, but no announcements till he feels the time is right. I'm really excited about it and I hope anyone reading this will join us for the ride.

In the meantime, enjoy these shots I took yesterday at the second to last Skull A Day creation.
The final Skull images can be seen on his site.

Milling About

The Artist On His Perch

My POV

What the Heck Will This Look Like?

And You Thought the Sun Was Hot!!!

And On The 366th Day He Rested

All Your Pork and Beans Are Belong To Us!!

2008-05-28T08:18:00.006-04:00

If you didn't know, I'm on vacation this week. Part of that is staying away from the computer as much as possible, but I finally broke down to watch this video. I know it's already made the rounds, but in case you haven't seen it, here's Weezers first new video off the upcoming (June 3rd) Weezer: Red Album.

Enjoy

I'm heading back to Liberty City, or perhaps Vegas to keep the country safe from terrah, cause you know, they hate freedom and all that.

The Dead Just Keep On Coming

2008-05-21T11:42:00.004-04:00

Coming Right For You!

In even more zombie news. The Hollywood Reporter announced that George Romeros original zombie opus Dawn of the Dead is going 3D! I really don't need another reason to see this film in the theaters but here it is. My mind is already racing at what a 3D treatment will do for certain scenes, chopper zombie anyone, and the true horror here is that we'll have to wait a year to find out. Let's hope they push this up and we see a Halloween release.
For the full story and an explanation of the 3D Dimensionalization process go here.

Summertimes Blues

2008-05-21T09:29:00.006-04:00

With summer coming on fast it's time to say goodbye to all my TV friends. Normally this wouldn't be the case as summer replacement shows would kick in. The writers strike screwed all that up and some shows have been canceled (4400, Dead Zone etc.) and some like FX's The Shield and Rescue Me have been delayed. So what's a media whore Geek like myself to do?
Fortunately, there are so many movies I want to catch up on that I shouldn't be hurting too much.
As most of you know, DVD's come out on Tuesday. Yesterday saw the release of a couple of things I'm excited for, and one I'm slightly curious about.

Right out of the gate, probably one of my more anticipated releases. George Romeros Diary of the Dead. If you've been following my ongoing manifesto, you'll know I braved the crushing traffic of Northern Va., and endured the most interminable wait on a movie theater snack line ever to see this film. If you haven't read my NorVa adventure go here. True, I had some issues with the movie, but I still sported a zombie stiffy for this reboot of my favorite franchise and of course I highly recommend it.
H ere is my review.
The disc is packed with extras so I'm excited for that as well and will probably watch at least once with the commentary on. There are also featurettes, Romero talking about his inspiration and many others. I know I should wait for the eventual Bluray release, but I'm all about the instant gratification.

Tying in with Diary of the Dead is the 40th Anniversary release of the one and only Night of the Living Dead. I know most of us have this film in several different forms. My understanding is this is the one with Romeros seal of approval. Personally, I own pretty decent copies of this movie, but I will still rent this for any extras I may have missed. Romeros name on this edition leads me to believe he may actually make some money from this one after letting the film slip into public domain. If you don't own this film, pick it up. If you do, now might be a good time to rewatch it. We can all stand around the pyre and blow out the birthday zombies together.

Finally, while it's true I was born in the 60's. I consider myself a product of the 80's and was just entering adulthood in 1982 (still in my teens) and had no idea how a degenerate angry punk rocker was going to fit in...anywhere. Fortunately someone took a chance on a little show called Square Pegs which was the Freaks and Geeks of my time with a much better soundtrack. This show gave us our first glimpse at the fashion icon that is Sarah Jessica Parker, the much much cuter Amy Linker (god I feel like such a perv right now), Jami Gertz (Star from Lost Boys - tell me you didn't have a crush, I dare you!) and valley speaking New Wavers (totally, totally). The show only ran for one season, but it was all we needed. I don't think I could have taken Square Pegs: the College Years where Muffy develops an 80's style coke habit. Does it hold up today? I for one plan to find out. I don't think I'll break down and buy the set, though Amazon is listing it for a budget friendly 25 bucks, but I'll definitely put it on my Netflix list.

You know, maybe the summers not looking so bad after all.

It's The Rhythm Of The Feeling...

2008-05-15T15:06:00.004-04:00

Look everyone! It's a new Flight of the Conchords video!!!!
Yay

Generals Sip Bacardi, While The Privates Feel The Pain..

2008-05-14T08:36:00.005-04:00

I'm no longer an openly political person. I don't enjoy the verbal sparring the same way I did when I was younger. Let's face it, Reagan Youth was a political band, and we were always prepared to defend our views. As I got older, I became involved in Animal Rights and kept facts and figures at my fingertips to educate any and all carnivores who dared get in my face.
Not only do I not have the energy required to be a political pundit, but I feel my politics are my own. I don't consider myself a Liberal, Democrat, or Republican. I've had a somewhat eclectic life and I no longer believe in black or white. Some of my views, those that would be very unpopular among my peers, are very conservative, while others are strongly liberal.

That said, I wanted to keep politics out of this blog, but when I hear, during my drive to work, on the radio that our Commander in Chief made a statement that he has given up golf since 2003 out of respect for the families of soldiers killed in the Iraq conflict.......I feel dirty, literally, and a bit ashamed that this is the image we are projecting to other countries.
I mean, c'mon....golf? Are we 12, making a deal with mom that if we can go to the sleepover we won't play video games for a week? It's effin' GOLF!! It's not like the guy is Tiger Woods who's living depends on the game!

I can't even equate this non-sacrifice with anything in my personal life since I don't believe I've hurt anybody quite so much to make such a sacrifice for. If I did, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm giving up softcore porn for a month. Yep, that's right, no softcore skinimax action for this noble soul. Hardcore stuff is still ok though, I'm making a sacrifice not taking a bullet.
So there you go. Sacrifices have been made. True, I'm not giving up taking a walk and hitting a ball into little holes for the families of some 4000 young men and women, not to mention the countless others coming back maimed or mentally unstable and their loved ones, but it's a start.

Do not get me wrong. I love the United States, and while everyone I know wants to visit other countries and cultures on their vacations, I feel I haven't seen enough of my own country yet. We're diverse. It's not all strip malls and 7-11's, and I'd like to experience it. Only thing is, today, I'm a little ashamed to admit it.

Reach Out,... But No Touching!

2008-05-13T12:39:00.004-04:00

I added a link to contact me directly at a gmail account I set up for this site. Anything you write and send there should be as private as any other mail account. So if you're worried about privacy, please feel free to reach me there. The link is above my picture and called Zom-b-mail Me.
If it doesn't work, let me know.
Of course, I'd prefer comments on what I post to be kept on these pages.

Thanks

Crazy Like A Fox....

2008-05-12T16:06:00.008-04:00

Looks like the old Fox Network, you know; the guys with the great unbiased news, are at it again. I'm sad to say they are not renewing New Amsterdam which I was really enjoying and I thought was a refreshing take on the immortal story. I may not ever find out which woman stopped his ticker on the subway, but I know it wasn't the doctor.

Joss Whedon and Eliza Dushku's Dollhouse is slated for a mid season replacement. Are you getting Firefly flashback chills yet? Fox has a habit of canceling mid-season shows before giving them a chance. Why do any scripted genre dramas even get shown to Fox? Let them stick to bad reality shows and legacy comedies. Heck, you have a better chance of keeping a show going on the family channel.

On brighter news. It looks like the CW may renew Reaper. We'll know tomorrow when they announce their lineup.

While on the subject of Reaper. I really enjoy this show. Yeah, it's having some growing pains, but oddly enough most of the criticism seems to be that the show isn't going anywhere. Not only do I disagree, but that aside, when did we start needing every show on tv to have a long story arc?

The shows I grew up on didn't have season long stories. The A-Team fought a different guy every week, so did Wonder Woman. The Six Million Dollar Man, Knight Rider etc. all had similar bad guy of the week formulas. Star Trek just boldly went...wherever. Different alien of the week, different situation. Only the faces were the same. Yes there was character development but this happened within the confines of single episodes, and shows rarely referenced what had gone before. it also made shows easier to jump into and enjoy.

Reapers building a little mythology behind it, but for gods-sake it's not Lost. I don't need an answer every week as long as the journey is enjoyable.
Maybe audiences and networks need to remember that this is entertainment.

Emotions..? Must Be The Womans Times.....

2008-05-09T14:57:00.016-04:00

Sorry this didn't go up on Friday, I started it then, but had to push it to the side, then I got lost in Liberty City. Hey, don't judge me!

I could cry, (it's true those hallmark commercials always get me) but I won't over the last new episode of 30 Rock this season. It seems like my friends had only just gotten back to me and they're off again. At least the season ended with a bang. A few great guest stars, great B plots and a look 3 months into the future. Jenna sings a song! A fantastic episode all the way through.

Can we get more Matthew Broderick? Having what I believe to be the 2nd most inspired name for a high profile guest stars character, (the 1st being Scott Baio as Bob Loblaw on Arrested Development) Broderick as Cooter Burger (this episode seemed fascinated by lady parts) was brilliant:
Cooter: Hey, we have a meeting with the Appropriations Committee like, now.
Jack: Oh no, I’m not prepared.
Cooter: I know, I’m not drunk either. But we’ll manage.

What better way to exemplify all politics than through Cooters insistence that a leak in the ceiling does not exist as water streams down onto a desktop:
Jack: The ceiling appears to be leaking.
Cooter: No it’s not. We looked into it and it’s not.

Come to think of it, maybe the leak is symbolic of another lady bit function white male conservative America is reluctant to believe in. That's right female orgasm, I'm talking 'bout you.

Speaking of orgasms. Tracy finishes his porn video game Gorgasm (colon) The Legend of Dongslayer:
Frank: Sorry about the wizard, Tracy. I’ll call the Korean animators.
Tracy: Yeah, you fixulate this!

Apparently, the game is so good Frank locks himself away for three months playing it.

Plot be damned though, this episode was on the verge of bursting with great lines. A lot of them came from Jenna who's been horribly underused since the show came back.

Finding Kenneth in the hall:

Jenna: Kenneth, where have you been? I had to put on my jeans by myself!

After finding a home pregnancy kit in the trash:

Jenna: Oh no! Someone's going to get more attention than me!

On Pregnancy:

Jenna: As my mom used to say. "You never want this to happen."

Defending a 3-way with Tom Arnold and Roseanne:

Jenna: That was two years ago!

My favorite Jenna moment happened between her and Kenneth as she explained a "Back Door Brag."

Kenneth: The personal essay is way harder than I thought, cause it's not in my nature to brag on myself.

Jenna: Not even a back door brag?

Kenneth: What's a back door brag?

Jenna: It's sneaking something wonderful about yourself in everyday conversation. Like when I tell people it's hard for me to watch American Idol cause I have perfect pitch. You try it.

Kenneth: Oh, it's hard for me to watch American Idol because there's a water bug on my channel changer.

This comes back later in a talk with Liz:

Jenna: People always underestimate my instincts because of my good looks.

Liz: This is no time for back door bragging!

Liz's pregnancy scare also led to some great moments

Liz' proud claim of promiscuity to Cerie:

Liz: Thank you Cerie, but I've been sexually active since I was 25.

Checking the calendar for her last "woman times."

Liz: Why don't I cross off the days like people in the movies?

Her views on motherhood:

Liz: I'm going to be a kick ass single mom. Like Erin Brokovich, or Sarah Connor.

(the last made funnier to geeks since Dean Winter who plays the suspected father, Dennis Duffy the Beeper King, also stars in the Sarah Connor Chronicles as Sarahs ex-fiance.)

She also left several manic messages on Jacks phone that lose the punch of the joke without the whole episode providing background info. Jacks reactions to the messages are great and need to be seen.

Speaking of Jack. He spent the episode in Washington at his new job in charge of:

Jack: Extreme Weather Preparedness and the War on the Poor.

Liz: You mean "War on Poverty?"

Jack: Yeah, ok. Let's go with that.

Jacks presidential assessment:

Jack: I don't like to think of this president as a lame duck. I like to think of him as a lame eagle.

I know you're saying to yourself, that's all well and good, but what was your favorite part? What made Charlie really laugh?

Well, it's a 3 way (not with Rosie and Tom) tie for me. In no particular order they are:

Kathy Geiss pulling a toy car out of her mouth

Liz: You're busy. I'll come back another time.

Kathy puts the car back in her mouth

Liz Finding Dennis in her apartment:

Liz: What are you doing here?

Dennis: I don't have to explain myself to you. Look, I told my mom I got a job so I've been coming here the last two weeks during the day.

Jack on the kind of plan he and Cooter need to get fired:

Jack: A guaranteed disaster. Like eating a burrito before sex.

I didn't even mention Petes Olympic Dreams crushed by Carter:

Pete: Peanut farmer.

Jacks nickname from the president:

The Jacker

Dennis' baby names:

Morpheus if it's a boy or Judy after some chick he boffed if it's a girl.

Dennis' grasp of english:

Dennis: I know what prenatal means. Pre, before. Natal, ruined.

I could go on, I want to go on. It's just so hard to let go. Sniff, damn! I said a wasn't gonna cry.

I'll miss this show for the next few months and may even re-watch the season. It's just my sharp wit makes it difficult to enjoy most mainstream comedies. (see what I did there?)

Anyway, it's time for my "Freedom Search."

Until next time.

It's A Dirty Job.....

2008-05-09T08:35:00.003-04:00

I picked this game up for my boss' birthday present. (happy b-day John) Like me, he enjoys games of a bit more mature nature which made this the perfect gag gift.
So why this game and not the newest offering from Hannah Montana or some other kiddie fare?

Well, in my never ending battle to find unintentional porn and double entendres. The title of this game called out to me as the perfect title for a chubby chaser porno film. I even put a disclaimer on the box "not a redneck porno!" (regardless of the giant chicken, what's up with that? Mayhaps the Burger King is a furry.) so as not to get his hopes up.

Hey, if Noah can see skulls everywhere, why can't I find accidental porn. He just better hope I don't start a blog about it. Actually, I've probably just given him the idea for next years project.

Here's lookin' forward to Big Bumpin 2...with Ron Jeremy as the Burger King........

Web Of My Dreams...

2008-05-06T14:04:00.004-04:00

I am pleased to report that my good friend and former/future collaborative partner Noah Scalin has won a Peoples Choice Webby for his year long blog/art project Skull A Day.
Skull A Day, now in it's final month needs to be seen to be believed. Noah is creating a skull image every day for a year and his dedication to this project has been nothing short of superhuman and it shows. I often hear about the sleepless nights of obsessing over what to do next, and he never dissapoints. If you haven't checked out his site lately, please catch up. If you haven't been there at all, what are you waiting for?
Skull A Day images will be released in book form this October, buy a bunch and give them out instead of candy this Halloween.
Guess I know what I'm getting from him for my birthday.

A Day In The Unlife...

2008-05-02T16:18:00.019-04:00

Please bear with me as I’m working from a two week old memory, which in my dog years can be like months.

What can I tell you about Steve Miners Day of the Dead, the most grossly ill-named film this year? Actually calling this film Day of the Dead is like calling Friday The 13^th Wet Hot American Summer. If you’re getting the idea that this film has nothing to do with the George Romero 1985 classic you would be dead on and you should have done better on the SAT’s. It’s a shame really, cause the film had a lot going for it. The budget was definitely higher than you normally see on these types of films. Mena Suvari and Ving Rhames give the film a semblance of credibility. Even Steve Miners name, while mostly associated with television has a certain pedigree with a couple of Friday the 13^th flicks, Warlock and Halloween H20 under his belt. In fact, Day of the Dead would have been a much better movie under a different title and if they avoided making insignificant nods to the original by keeping the names and some settings intact. The potential was there, and as I said, it had a lot going for it and some parts were wholly entertaining.

Here’s the story rundown. A small town in Colorado becomes infected with a virus and is under quarantine. One of the officers (Suvari) has family in the town and accompanied by a communications officer Bud Crain (Stark Sands) drives into town to take her mother to the hospital. Soon the outbreak reaches critical and the town inhabitants become superhuman flesh eaters. Survivors band together and uncover a plot to create a super soldier while escaping the overrun town.

Ok, you might think. Sure it has nothing to do with the original, but it sounds like a good time, why all the negativity?

Right, fair enough, let’s start from the beginning.

Starting with the title. Let’s forget for the moment that there is already a film called Day of the Dead, heck, let’s forget there’s a Mexican holiday called Day of the Dead. Assuming these four words were never put together in a sentence in our current history, why does the bulk of this film take place at night? Now I know Dawn of the Dead did not take place at dawn though a key scene establishing the deads dominance does. Plus the title makes sense in building upon a franchise. For that matter the original Day of the Dead was primarily underground, but all the external shots were day shots, and besides Subterranean Silo of the Dead doesn’t have the same ring. A better title for this film would be Night of the Infected, or something along those lines.

Let’s jump to the talent. Mena Suvari worked pretty well with what was given her, but that wasn’t much. It’s hard to buy this cute as a button pedophiles wet dream as a military officer, and where did she find form fitting BDU’s? The last thing I should be thinking while watching a zombie flick is “damn, did she always have that butt?”, but think it I did, and in most situations this would be a perfectly rational thought, just not when flesh eating ghouls are active.
For the record, I now believe every Suvari film should have at least one view of her rear. Get that in the contract!

Ving Rhames was underused. He had little more than a cameo, and his end was off camera so there was no Ving Rhames bad-assery to be had.

Nick Cannon, the current Mr. Carey? Well mom always said if you have nothing nice to say. He bugged the hell out of me and every scene he opened his mouth in dragged painfully. Dude, I loved Drumline….what happened?

Actually the standout for me was Stark Sands as Bud. Why they would change Bub to Bud is beyond me, but his lovesick tame zombie was great. He was both menacing and likeable just as Sherman Howards Bub was in the original with a bit of Billy Connolly as Fido thrown in.

Everyone else in the film did an ok job, but like Suvari, just didn’t have a lot to go on. AnnaLynn McCord as Nina stands out among the supporting cast, and I may have bought her in Suvaris role as she seemed tougher and older at times. Fan favorite Christa Campbell also makes an appearance.

Day of the Dead breaks a lot of rules. The “zombies” are closer to the rage affected of the 28 Days film. Once infected, they quickly get sick and, I assume, die. Faster than you can say flesh eating bacteria, their skin starts splitting, lesions form and tad ah! Instant Zombification.

Along with the new undead appetite comes some super agility. Zombies jump from windows, leap 12 feet onto victims and somehow gain the ability to crawl across ceiling grids that would never support their weight. For awhile there I thought I was watching Marvel Zombies. Yet for all this newfound great power, they were not capable of pulling a 110 lb girl from an air duct by her feet when she was within arms reach, nor could they catch her if she got a 10 foot headstart.

Any zombie picture will stick to at least one, in my opinion, unbreakable rule. When a character gets attacked, they must without exception, show up as a zombie later in the film. Romero established this in Night by bringing Johnny back, and it’s a damn good rule. Main characters in this film are bitten or whisked away never to be seen again. C’mon, not even the main “villain” Dr. Logan shows up for our heroes to take down. That’s just unforgiveable.

Don’t insult the fans intelligence. We love Troma films. It doesn’t take a lot to make us happy, but simply reusing character names from another film doesn’t make it a remake or a reimagining.

Zack Snyder understood this with his reimagining of Dawn of the Dead and not only did he give Dawns (original) four male leads, I’m counting Tom Savini, cameos, He also cleverly named one of the malls shops after the female lead Gaylen Ross. Fan appreciation does not go unnoticed, neither does insults.

While I’m being insulted, guess why Bud (Bub) the horny docile zombie won’t kill. Take a minute, think about it……don’t know? He’s a frikkin’ vegetarian. I kid you not. That would make the safest place in the US during a zombie war Berkley Ca., some parts of Seattle and Colorado….where this damn movie takes place! Me, I’d probably hop the first flight to India myself.

Don’t even ask me about the promo art. I don’t get it. A zombie puking? It’s not gross or scary.

Bottom line. If you love zombie flicks and want slightly higher than average production values Day of the Dead may be for you. You’d better leave your preconceptions at the door though cause it has absolutely nothing to do with the original.

If you’re an easily riled purist, you may want to avoid this film all together. Oddly, if you’re not a zombie fan but love B movies than you may really enjoy it as well since it’s closer to a cheesy action film. At least it didn’t put me to sleep.

Of course that could be attributed to Mena Suvaris butt………

Garden Spot of the World

2008-04-30T15:29:00.008-04:00

Yesterday I took a little vacation at one of my favorite spots. I'm talking Liberty City baby with it's roach infested apartments, it's garbage strewn streets and overcrowded sidewalks and roadways.
Liberty City is the fictional setting for this years mega-blockbuster slice of video game heaven Grand Theft Auto IV. I need to preface with the fact that the GTA franchise is second in my heart only to the Resident Evil franchise, if there was a way to combine the technical and story telling prowess of GTA with the tension and mechanics (and zombies) of RE, well my head would probably s-plode, (poof, there goes my head) but until then I'll have to enjoy them separately.
I've only gotten a short way in, but what I've seen so far is nothing short of awesome. Liberty City is based on my home town of New York City and the resemblance is remarkable. If you've ever been to Coney Island then your first apartment in Hove Beach Broker (Brooklyn) will feel incredibly familiar. Likewise if you've ever run around in the South Bronx or South Bohan in the game. One of my favorite moments in the game was coming across the Worlds Fair globe in Dukes (Queens) and for a moment feeling like I could walk over to my grandmothers place a mile away. (I didn't)

You start the game as Niko Bellic a European immigrant lured to America by his cousin Roman a big talker with a gambling problem. Niko is quickly sucked into doing small jobs for European mob types to keep the heat off his cousin, and in true GTA fashion those jobs quickly escalate from intimidation to murder.
All GTA games follow a similar premise, but like the saying goes, if it 'aint broke... Of course Rockstar North didn't create the gangster rags to riches tale, but I'm amazed at how deep the storylines get, and how fresh they seem from game to game. They really do have a way of inserting the player into the story and making you care about what happens to your onscreen avatar.
Something new that surprised me early on is the ability to make a moral choice within the story, to decide whether you would kill an intended target. I let him live, and I'm looking forward to how that will pay off later in the story.
Another new mechanic is the cell phone. Nikos cell phone is your interface to the world, and it makes sense. Contacts are added to your phone book and will call you for jobs or just to hang out. You also have the freedom to call a contact and bolster your friendship by meeting for a game of pool or some drinks, or maybe a night at the strip club. By the way, driving drunk is a riot, heck walking drunk is a riot and I face planted more than I care to admit.
The cell phone is also used to enter a multiplayer game, something I've yet to do. You can also use it to get song information and to buy those songs from the Amazon marketplace, directly downloaded to your console.

The internet is another source of contact with the world of GTA IV. At the brilliantly named internet cafes TW@, Niko can log on, check his email for jobs, or just tool around the web. Of course the usual GTA humor is present everywhere, so expect websites just as ludicrous as the radio ads in previous installments.
Speaking of the radio, the usual GTA attention to music is present. For a full list check here.
I was particularly happy about Liberty City Hardcore featuring an old friend from my past Jimmy Gestapo of Murphy's Law doing DJ duty.
I've only had one day with this game and I'm already obsessed. Everything about this game has intrigued me so far, and for once the hype machine gets it right. While I can probably go on much longer, I'm heading home to play.
Bottom line is GTA IV is a must own. I'm playing the PS3 version (no freezing) and it looks and sounds great. Pick this one up, and maybe I'll see you on the streets of Liberty City.

Clearing My Thoughtcicles.....

2008-04-25T08:50:00.005-04:00

Is it Friday already? The week just flew by, of course I was out sick a day so that may have something to do with it. I'm almost ashamed to say I'm taking next Tuesday off so I can to a midnight sale of Grand Theft Auto 4, then pass out on the couch playing. Damn you addictive personality and your wily manipulative ways!
Anyway, it being Friday means I spent last night in TV land bliss as Lost came back both barrels blazing (literally) and finding a funny line in 30 Rock was as easy as taking candy from one of those guys who give out candy at gay night clubs.
It feels like the Rock is starting to get it's feet back. The writers strike really had an effect on the momentum of the show, and I'm sure Tina Fey promoting a new movie, and probably putting finishing touches on it and an SNL appearance while these episodes filmed couldn't help any. Still, 30 Rock is like pizza...or fisting, even when it's bad it's good.
Last nights episode had a lot going for it. Donaghy and Geiss have great chemistry, but Donaghy and Banks are even better. Liz out of her element is always good. Can anyone be more awkward then Liz Lemon in a pantsuit?
So let's run down the favorite bits:

Jack regarding his promotion to Geiss:
I want my mother to know this before she dies so she can go to her grave a defeated woman.

Shirtless Tracy, dancing in the middle of his sons class crying:
If I'm such a bad dad, why are we all dancing?

Jack:
Hugging...it's so ethnic.

Tracy:
my son is ashamed of his father.
Kenneth:
That's horrible. Everyone knows the only thing we should be ashamed of is our bodies.

Liz on molesting Banks in the elevator: To get through it I pretended he was a sandwich.

Franks explanation in Star Wars terms to Tracy on why a porn video game can't be made, (the valley) and Dr. Spaceman calling 911 for Diabetes repair had me rolling as well as Liz' disdain for Banks (he reminds me of me, yesterday) then handing Jack a tampon (which he places in his breast pocket like a cigar) for feeling bad for Banks were all great moments.

My favorite of the night
Tracy: My genius has come alive, like toys when your back is turned.

Truer words have not been spoken.
have a great weekend all......

Home Again, Home Again.....

2008-04-23T15:44:00.016-04:00

Hey All,

I had a great time visiting the family this past weekend. Grandmas health isn't the greatest and that worries me, but I'm trying not to focus on that.
After running all over the city on Saturday, we hit everyplace from Forbidden Planet to Toy Tokyo, I went with my brother and his son to see Forbidden Kingdom the new Jackie Chan/Jet Li joint. It wasn't what I expected, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Sunday, I got about two hours to run around the show floor of the New York Comic Con. The place was sensory overload, and that's an understatement.
I didn't get to catch any big announcements or check out any panels, but I did get to see plenty of toy prototypes from Watchmen to The Spirit to Stargate. There is a ton of stuff hitting the shelves this summer and fall. I fear for my paycheck.

I was really excited to see the Night of the Living Dead figures. The film recently reached it's 40th anniversary and we will see a Graveyard Zombie (Bill Heinzman) from the beginning of the film, (the one that walks like Elvis Costello) Ben, (Duane Jones) Barbara, (Judith O'Dea) and Karen Cooper (Kyra Schon) complete with garden spade. The figures look great and I'm definitely pre-ordering.

Another thrill was catching the beta of Metal Gear Solid online. I didn't get any time to actually play since the line was pretty long, but what I saw looked great and gives me high hopes for the game when it is released later this year.

Of course, I couldn't walk out of there without at least one purchase. I couldn't resist this little guy. His name is Nate and he was sculpted by the incredibly talented Clayburn Moore. In case you couldn't tell he's based on Charlie Adlards art for Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead series. Clayburn himself was there and he signed the back of the pedestal for me. If you're not familiar with his work, go check his site out.
I can maybe make a ball with Sculpty, but it goes downhill from there.

I just want to shout out a thanks to my pals Spencer and Matt from Team 8 Press for finding space for me, and Patrick of Velocity Comics and Jesse Bausch of Strange Detective Tales (Oddgod Press) for helping to get me in, otherwise I would have never seen this:

So Nice They Named It Twice

2008-04-17T15:21:00.003-04:00

Well, I'm off to Nueva Jork for the weekend to see fambly. I have friends (no really I do, just ask them) who are heading up for New York Comic Con and I decided to tag along for the trip. I don't think I'll make the convention, unless I go for awhile on Sunday before it closes since face time with friends (there's that word again) and family is limited.
My nephew just turned 13, so I told his dad I'm giving him a pack of condoms, a lighter and a bottle opener. Hey, that's all I needed when I was 13, and let's face it, pre-aids the condoms were a suggestion.
Either way, I won't be around, and I won't get any internet time till Monday. My aunt has dial up and I'm a bandwidth snob.
So have a great weekend and in tribute to my now 13 year old nephew Logan (as in Run, not X-Men) enjoy this video I found on Funny or Die (which turned 1 today) that features Chris Mintz Plasse better known as "McLovin" a major geek, and Kristen Bell whose just major. Have I mentioned my KristenKrush before?
Hopefully I'll have something cool and geeky when I get back....

That's What It's All About

2008-04-16T09:38:00.003-04:00

Something I forgot to mention yesterday. While walking back from lunch I ended up behind two twenty-something punk rock students walking towards the Commons. Both had sewn Reagan Youth t-shirt images to the backs of their jackets.
I wanted to say something but decided to bask in the glow of our legacy. Not money, not adulation or affection.
Inspiration.....
That's what it's all about..

Read You Loud And Clear

2008-04-15T14:31:00.007-04:00

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm like a lot of people out there in that I love to read, but hate reading. Uh, wait a minute...how can that be possible?
Let me explain. I read a lot. I frequently visit news sites such as Newsvine and the Onions A.V. Club and Kotaku. I have several magazine subscriptions, and a stack of comics I can no longer keep up with that I add to on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, on the nights I do try to curl up with a book, it's everything I can do to stay awake for ten minutes. Not because reading or the book bores me. I am assaulted by so much material all day long that by the time night rolls around my eyes can barely stay open.
I also try to keep up with all other aspects of geek culture like movies, tv, video games and music.
Before the internet claimed my soul, I easily read a book a week. I took public transportation, and left my gameboy at home. I read as I walked narrowly avoiding passers by. When I waited for someone, I would pull a book out and let the time pass. I didn't jump on my cell and call everybody I can think of to waste a few moments with. Maybe Amazons Kindle is the way to go.
As hard as it is to find time for some hardcore reading, I'm also not much of a fan of audio books. I have gone the audio book way on rare occasions. I knew I would never read The DaVinci Code, but wanted to know what all the hype was about. I listened to it unabridged during my morning training runs. This was multitasking that I could live with. I'm toying with doing the same with Ayn Rands Atlas Shrugged. It'll probably take me a thousand miles to finish the thing though.

I read World War Z by Max Brooks when it was released in hardcover. I love this book, if you haven't read it, you're denying yourself a good time. I actually wanted to read it again, but I've already explained my difficulty with time management, and stacks of reading material.
That's when I came across the World War Z podcasts. Thinking they were a related podcast, I downloaded them. (there are 10) The podcasts are excerpts from the audio book, are free, and they hooked me. The World War Z audiobook plays out more like a radio drama and less like a reading. Imagine an NPR show devoted to survivors of a zombie war. Max Brooks plays the role of the interviewer. His voice is pleasant and professional as he questions his subjects who walk us through the oral history from patient zero in China to the monument in Yonkers erected in our victory over the undead.
The subjects are not lacking in talent either. Alan Alda, John Tutturo, Carl and Rob Reiner, Henry Rollins, Jurgen Prochnow and Mark Hamill who's voice talents are flawless are possibly the most recognizable names in the credits, but everyone does a great performance. You can find a full cast listing at the Random House World War Z page. Since the book travels the world, some of the accents may seem campy, but I think this is done more to give us a feel of the accent without making the dialogue incomprehensible.

This version is abridged, obviously the attention to statistics so important in the book are toned down. I also found myself missing the section of the book that takes place on a German sub, and a floating community of ships. I don't know why sections were cut, but for an audio book the budget must have been huge.
I listened during my commute, and the story is done in 6 hours.

Brad Pitt has won the right to produce World War Z the movie, and J. Michael Straczynski (Babylon 5, and many many comics) is currently working on a script.
The problem is, there is so much material, that nearly any story can be expanded to a film. Todd Wainios battle at Yonkers and his trek across America, or Christina Eliopolis' trials after falling from a plane over Louisiana swampland (if she does appear in the film and is not played by Christina Ricci then the casting director should be shot as a zombie), T. Sean Collins story of protecting the rich and famous holed up in a webcast paradise is also chilling enough to be it's own feature. Like The Walking Dead, World War Z would make an excellent limited series, maybe eight to ten one hour long episodes in documentary style.

World War Z is written by Max Brooks and published by Random House
Even if you have read the book, the audio book adds a different layer to the story and is well worth a listen.
The audio book won an Audie award in 2007 for Best Multi-Voiced Performance.
I have seen the audio book for as little as $15. at Barnes and Noble.
Download it from ITunes for $19., or torrent it (not recommended (ineedtosaythat)). You won't be disappointed.

Seperated At Birth?

2008-04-11T16:15:00.010-04:00

Simon Pegg is living my life albeit in a much more humorous on screen kind of way. Let’s examine the facts, shall we.

In Spaced, the brilliant BBC sitcom he co-created with Jessica Stevens, (directed by Edgar Wright) Simon plays Tim Bisley, an aspiring comic artist (I wanted to write them) working, where else? a comic shop. (I worked in 5 different comic shops growing up.) Tim has no luck with relationships, (check) is a bit cranky at times, (check) obviously loves comics, (check) video games, (check) and prefers Star Wars over Star Trek (check). He even has posters up for Evil Dead 2 and Zombie on his wall, I mean, c’mon!

Simons likeness appears in the ultra violent comic The Boys by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson. He also wrote the intro to the first collection.
My likeness appears on the cover of the ultra violent graphic novel Recess Pieces by Bob Fingerman. (Which I swear to glowingly review here in the near future, zombies, grade school, need I say more?) I am also in the dedication.

Good old Simon continues his mockery of me with 2004s Shaun of the Dead. The zomromcom he co-wrote with partner Edgar Wright. I think I’ve made myself clear up to this point, my concerns regarding the walking dead. Shaun is absolutely one of my 5 favorite films. I’m not even sure which movie Shaun knocked off my list, but it is my second most re-watched film next to Dawn of the Dead, and I’m willing to bet if there is one person in this world who has as great a respect for Dawn of the Dead as I do, it’ll be Simon Pegg.

Now things are starting to get freaky. In Run Fat Boy Run Simon plays Dennis Doyle, a good hearted everyman who decides to run a marathon to prove he can finish something to himself and most importantly to his ex-fiancee (Thandie Newton) he left at the altar..pregnant. Turns out the ex is involved with a Type A (Hank Azaria) who’s wealthy, handsome and competitive. Dennis sees the connection to everything he cares about fading away, so in a last ditch attempt to prove he’s a changed man he enters the same marathon the Type A is running in. Dennis is coached by his best friend and ex’s cousin Gordon played by Dylan Moran, and his landlord Mr. Goshdashitar (Harish Patel). Gordon has bet everything he doesn’t have that Dennis will finish, (only cause the odds were great) and his landlords daughter will evict him (Dennis) if he does not run.

I don’t want to give too much away. If you’re looking for a lighthearted way to spend an evening, you can do worse than Run Fat Boy Run. Simon and Dylan have a real strong chemistry from years of working together, (the fight scene played out to the Kaiser Chiefs “Everyday I Love You Less and Less” should definitely be a contender for fight of the year at the MTV Movie Awards) and you can tell they’re enjoying themselves. The film does tread some safe romantic comedy territory, but that’s to be expected. David Schwimmer of Friends fame makes his directorial debut with Run Fat Boy Run and I think he did a pretty decent job. Some scenes felt a little sitcommy (where he practiced his new craft) but everyone starts somewhere. The film was written by Michael Ian Black (The State, Reaper) originally to take place in New York, and was later co-written with Simon Pegg and the setting was changed to London. They do hit spot on with some runner humor, and I wonder which of the writers has attempted endurance running before.

Now where have I seen some of this before? Oh yeah, my frakkin’ life! Romantic comedy bits aside, I ran my first Marathon at 40 in New York. The New York Marathon went through my old neighborhood almost every year on my birthday weekend. I would rouse my hungover friends who slept on my floor from the previous night birthday bash and drag them out to listen to thousands of pounding feet going by. I’d have my coffee and my cigarette, and swear up and down that could never be me. I won’t bore you with the details of why I started running, but the official “story” is once zombies started running, I did too. So I’m essentially blaming 28 Days Later for kick starting my running career. My wife Tere made me a sign that reads “Keep Running, Zombies Are After You!” which is a great motivator at mile 18.

How will Simons future mimic mine, only time will tell. There are fortunately no parallels to draw from Hot Fuzz, though I have had my share of run-ins with the po po.

He will be playing Scotty on the upcoming J.J. Abrams re-launch of Star Trek. (Hmmm, Scotty’s an engineer (ship) and I’m an engineer (audio), am I reaching?)

When Simon plays an aging punk rock drummer with an addictive personality, Peter Pan and restless leg syndromes I’m contacting my lawyer, well first I’ll get a lawyer, then I’ll contact him.

Run Fat Boy Run is currently in theaters

Spaced is scheduled for a US DVD release on 7/23/08

Spaced is currently being re-imagined for American audiences (like The Office) without Simon, Edgar or Jessica’s involvement (apparently without their approval either)

MILF Frikkin' Island Baby...The Rock Is Back!

2008-04-11T11:26:00.010-04:00

Liz watches MILF Island with Jack

Now that 30 Rock is back with new episodes and I can once again worship at the altar of the Geek Goddess Tina Fey. I need to bring back a Friday tradition (at least 3 times) of sharing my favorite quotes. last night was tough as there was hardly any Tracy, and no Jenna. Pete had a weird subplot which was dialogue free, but used up a lot of time that would normally be spent throwing the jokes around. So what was my favorite bit?

Was it Cheney calling Jack to ask about Deborahs breasts?
"No, they're not real unfortunately."
What about Kenneths "You're eyes look like my uncles after he drinks from the air conditioner."
Maybe it was Soyjoy, now with optimism, or Liz' Cathy "Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, Ack!" If it wasn't Jacks litany of nicknames "Stammerhead Shark, stutterfingers, stuttermilk pancakes. The butter thing opened a lot of doors for them" then it had to be Jack talking about his childhood "I feel like I'm back in that boiler room making little piles of sawdust while Gilley plays with himself in the corner."
No matter, 30 Rock is back and I'm in "Erection Cove".

I think Jack should follow up MILF Island with "Cougar Island" and then "Celebrity Cougar Island" so Jenna can be on and get voted off when it's down to her and Cameron Diaz.

By the way, check out Livin' 'Neath The Law with Jack McBrayer (Kenneth) on Funny Or Die

You can catch Milf Island on Hulu.com

Something's Wrong With My World View 2

2008-04-08T08:43:00.003-04:00

I like cereal, who doesn't? I'm not talking about the cardboard like "adult" cereals either. The good Cap'n and his (soy) milk defying crunchiness. The jazzy pep of the snap, the crackle and of course, the pop. The pebbles, both the fruity and the chocolaty. The list goes on and on. The best time for cereal is...well, anytime really. Though nothing beats a bowl of sugar packed goodness on a Saturday morning during a b horror flick, or some Spongebob.
That said, I felt compelled to share this. We have a local market called...wait for it...The Market, (I kid you not) and they carry several "off" brands. That's where I saw this. Sorry about the flash reflection, I felt odd enough taking pictures of cereal boxes to worry too much about artistic excellence.
Only thing this box is missing is a blurb "Packed With Protein!!" Let's talk about the shape of the puffs themselves, take a minute, it'll come (no pun intended) to you. I wonder if the R on his helmet stands for randy. I may need to pick a box of these up for myself, though I fear Saturday morning will never be the same again.

No Country For Me

2008-04-07T12:14:00.003-04:00

Last night I fired up the PS3 and popped in The Coen Brothers award winning No Country For Old Men. This was a much anticipated film in my house, and one we thought we would regret not seeing in the theaters. Boy, was I wrong.
Now maybe it's me. Maybe too many grindhouse flicks and a preference for Zombie Strippers have soured my cinematic pallet beyond repair, but this won best picture?...really?
Before you start hating, I liked the film enough. The camera work is impressive, and there are some really great performances. Javier Badem as Anton Chigurh brought the chill with him, but if you want to see a truly scary sociopath curl up with Michael Rooker in 1986' Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, and tell me you won't keep a closer eye on the cable guy next time he comes over.
Tommy Lee Jones as the Sheriff, and Josh Brolin as the any man who bit off more than he can chew were also great, though Tommy Lee seemed to be confused at the waste of his bad-assery at times.
Speaking of wasting performances. Two supporting characters who are portrayed by Woody Harrelson (I don't need to tell you what he's been in) and Garret Dillahunt, possibly one of the finer character actors today, (Deadwood, 4400, Sarah Conner Chronicles) are largely wasted. Harrelson is little more than a plot contrivance, and you feel his role was stunt casting at best. This is like casting Ben Foster (30 Days of Night, 3:10 to Yuma, Alpha Dog) for a walk on in The Hills.
I know there are people out there who think the Coen Brothers can do no wrong, but I honestly haven't been into anything they've done since Fargo, and yes that includes The Big Lebowski, a film I still haven't been able to sit through.
It felt to me like they tried to out grind Tarantino, but without the same snappy dialogue and no real passion for the violence they tried to throw in each scene, except of course where it would really matter. Two crucial confrontations that the audience would truly care about occur off camera, why hold back here when the whole movie is a string of bloody confrontations?
Maybe that was the idea, in a world inured to violence they wanted it to be very matter of fact, of course we may never know since there was no damn commentary on the disc! C'mon, directors as important as everyone tells the Coen Brothers they are can't throw a commentary track down to tell people what they were thinking? Lazy and inexcusable, I have no other words for it.
So, if you liked Fargo, but always wondered how a desert setting would change the movie, then No Country is for you. I may not think it's picture of the year material (in all fairness I was also disappointed by The Matrix) but it is definitely worth the rental. As a slice of (very violent) life, the film works, but if you're expecting a pay off you may be in for a let down. If anything the film limps through the last twenty minutes as if it had buckshot in the leg.

No Country For Old Men is available on DVD and Blu Ray.
The novel by Cormac McCarthy is available in paperback

What Frakkin Time Is It?

2008-04-04T13:27:00.005-04:00

last night I had some of the guys over for a little co-op Rainbow 6 Vegas 2. They thought we were playing a game but I'm really auditioning for placement in my elite squad once zombieggedon happens. Sadly, they're not all gonna make it.

No, seriously, how can I think of anything else knowing that tonight starts the beginning of the end of one of the finest tv shows of my lifetime? No, not Flavor Of Love. I'm talking about the 4th season of Battlestar Galactica.

What are you doing reading? You should be home popping corn and calling all your friends and relatives to tell them not to call you while it's on. You should be setting up your season pass, clearing your social calendar for the next dozen or so Fridays. Covering you toaster so it doesn't get any ideas...you know the drill.

I honestly don't think I have ever been this excited about a television show returning, (though I am kinda psyched for Doctor Who on the 18th) so you can expect some Battlestar centric posts over the next few months. Hey, it could be worse, I could really like Gossip Girl. Anyway, if you're a fan like me, enjoy the show. If not, it's not too late to buy or rent the DVDs and see what people are buzzing about. Frak, I'm sure you know someone you can borrow them from.

Oh, and guys, zombies don't know from keyboards or controllers...better work on your headshots.

Battlestar Galactica airs on the Sci Fi channel Fridays at 9pm.

what a great promo

Beat On The Brat With...Well, Anything

2008-04-03T15:20:00.014-04:00

I think everything I need to learn about having fun can be learned in Condemned 2: Bloodshot, Sega and Monoliths sequel to Condemned: Criminal Origins, for the PS3 and Xbox 360.

Here is what I learned:
It’s fun to beat on the homeless.
It’s more fun if you’re drunk.
The only thing better than a burning meth head is two burning meth heads.
The cake is a lie…….um, no wrong game.

Condemned 2: Bloodshot continues the tale of now former officer for the Special Crime Unit, Ethan Thomas. It’s nearly a year later and Ethan has sunk into alcoholism following the events of Condemned: Criminal Origins hunt for SKX (Serial Killer X). Ethan’s not the only one worse off. Metro City has deteriorated, largely due to sonic emitters planted throughout the city which amplifies aggression and violent behavior, and the streets are teeming with enraged homeless and homicidal addicts. Ethan is called back to SCU to investigate the disappearance of his friend, and coincidentally SKX’ Uncle Malcolm Van Horn. The investigation uncovers a plot by a secret society known as the Oro as well as the truth behind SKX’ fate and Ethans own role to play in the unfolding plot.

The only way I can describe Condemned 2 is first person brawler. While firearms do play a larger role on certain levels (upon completion you can play through the game a second time as a shooter with unlimited ammo) the true hook lies in good old fashioned melee. Weapons are plentiful in the form of a 2x4 with nails, rebar, pipes, even a foosball stick or prosthetic arm. Pretty much anything you can use as a weapon is. Granted there is not as much flexibility as Dead Rising, and I found myself missing the rebar with concrete from the first game, but there are more than enough blunt instruments of destruction laying around. New additions to the combat system are chain attacks which if executed properly can bring on a world of hurt, and environmental kills that allow you to use your surroundings on a dazed opponent.

The AI seems smarter this time around. They will attack from a distance if possible either shooting if armed, or throwing bricks, pool balls or whatever they can get their hands on. They will hide and jump out or sneak up on you from behind when you least expect it. Your flashlight is your best friend and worst enemy as it reveals your foes while telegraphing your position. It is possible to sneak through levels, but why would you want to?

Forensic investigations play a larger role in Bloodshot, and the familiar tools are back. I didn’t find much use for the GPS, but the UV light, camera and spectrometer are used fairly often and in satisfying ways. The investigations are less linear and take more thought than in the first game and it’s easy to miss something or respond incorrectly leading to a less than perfect investigation score.

Each level grades you at the end based on investigation, timed responses, emitters destroyed and antennas (news reports) found awarding you with a bronze, silver or gold badge. Trust me, you want the gold as this means the best upgrades granted. Upgrades come in the form of taser shots, bullet damage, stealth ability, kick combos, health effectiveness etc. The game also keeps a record of successful combos and extends your chain attack meter as milestones are reached.

The storyline of Bloodshot ties well to Criminal Origins, answering some questions and creating some new ones while setting you up for the inevitable sequel. You don’t necessarily have to play Criminal Origins to enjoy Bloodshot, but since it’s a budget title, why wouldn’t you?

Graphically Bloodshot doesn’t disappoint, though there were some levels that were eye straining headache inducing nightmares. There is a lot of detail in this game and the character models are great and move well. Ethan looks like he’s about to start suffering from DTs at any time.

The control is much more fluid, and at first I thought the game was easier than its predecessor, it’s not. It is more reactive and in the long run a more satisfying experience than the first game. (which was no slouch – seriously, play the first)

There are several multiplayer modes, but I haven’t tried any yet. I did spend some time in Condemned Fight Club where you get to dictate which and how many enemies to fight as well as weapon selection. It’s a good way to hone combat skills and chase after some of the more elusive achievements if you are playing the game on an Xbox 360.

All in all I had a blast with Condemned 2: Bloodshot. The game is atmospheric, raw and engrossing. It’ll probably take you about 10-12 hours on normal difficulty so you may want to give it a rental. However, higher difficulty and the FPS mode alone offer some replayability so if this is your type of game there are worse ways to spend $60.

Condemned 2: Bloodshot is Published by Sega and was developed by Monolith Productions. It carries a mature rating for violence and language, alcohol, drugs and gore. It is available for the Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3

The Data Is In....

2008-04-01T12:50:00.006-04:00

SCIENCE!

Ever come across something where you say "Darn, wish I thought of that."?
I can almost always find something to amuse me on Cracked.com, and today is no exception.

Check out the "5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen" then scoff at my planning and preparedness. Afterwards I'll meet you at the Home Depot in the window gates aisle. I'll be the guy with the steel shutters and chainsaw.

The language on cracked.com aint' for kiddies, be warned.

Something's Wrong With My World View

2008-03-31T11:34:00.006-04:00

A plushophile, or plushie can oftentimes be described, according to the Urban Dictionary as:
noun: One who makes sexual and masturbatory use of stuffed animals, dolls, and puppets. Plushophiles are often involved with the "furry" community.

So what the heck is this game about?

Marvel Zombies Vs Walking Dead

2008-03-28T15:38:00.007-04:00

As you already know two of my favorite things are superheroes and zombies which is why I got so excited when Marvel Zombies as created by Mark Millar and Greg Land first appeared in the Ultimate Fantastic Four 21-23 way back in 05, and again in 06 issues 30-32.

Now while I’d love to see a Marvel Zombie movie, especially if this scene was reshot with Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst as directed by Sam Raimi, I’ve lost my taste (pun?) for the books. I really enjoyed the first mini-series as written by Robert Kirkman and illustrated by Sean Phillips, but after that it became a parody of what made it kinda cool in the first place. Hell, they even fought Ash J Williams in Marvel Zombies Vs The Army of Darkness last year.

Unfortunately I only have one person to blame for my loss of love for the spandex clad flesh eaters.

That person is Robert Kirkman.

Now before you start shouting, wait a minute Charlie, Kirkman’s awesome. He created Battle Pope and Invincible. The man’s brilliant.

I know he is, and that’s the problem.

Kirkman created The Walking Dead.

The Walking Dead is probably my favorite comic on the market now. It is easily the greatest zombie apocalypse tale to date. If anything, Kirkman has raised the bar so high for zombie fiction that other stuff he’s written, like Marvel Zombies, pales in comparison.

No other comic has ever given me a WTF moment as last months issue 46 has. Kirkman shows a great affection for Romeros world and makes it his own. He understands that zombies are an obstacle and it’s the human relationships and dynamics that are far deadlier than the 100 or so lurking ghouls camping on your doorstep. He’s intelligent enough to realize that no one, and I mean no one is safe. He pulls the reader along toying with your affections for the characters and filling you with dread at every page turn.

The Walking Dead is a zombie tale for the Lost fans, and if any zombie tale were ever adapted for television (c’mon Showtime, get on it) it should be this one. It almost screams to be filmed.

Without giving too much away, The Walking Dead follows Officer Rick Grimes a police officer from Kentucky who wakes up in a hospital after being shot to a very different world decimated by zombies. Now Kirkman got a lot of complaints about his opening being too similar to Danny Boyles 28 Days Later, but Boyle wasn’t the first either. That honor goes to John Wyndhams Day of the Triffids. (highly recommended)

Rick does miraculously reunite with his wife Lori and his son Carl who are with a group of survivors that includes his partner Shane.

It’s at about this point that those deadly human relationships come into play, and you realize this aint just a zombie story.

People die in this book, some of them you love and others not so much, but the cast has changed dramatically from that first issue and I wouldn’t be surprised if Kirkman decides to change the focal point of the book leaving us loyal readers to lash out in the letter pages about our emotional investments.

Nearly the full run of The Walking Dead can be found in 7 soft cover collections, with the eighth soon to follow. The collections are also modestly priced, normally at 13 bucks a book containing 6 full issues. You can find them online or at your local comic shop, I recommend ordering from Velocity Comics here in Richmond, cause Patrick’s alright.

Now I know I haven’t shown any love for the talented artists on this book. Tony Moore did art for the first 6 issues and Charlie Adlard has expertly handled the interiors since. The interior art is black and white, and I really don’t see the need to add color. If anything the colors I see are probably more gruesome than anything they can actually print. There have been times earlier on where it’s been difficult to distinguish characters, but Adlard has really grown on this book and he’s looking much more polished.

The Walking Dead is fast approaching the 50^th issue which Kirkman has hinted at big changes for. This might be a good jumping on point for anyone wanting to follow this book, even Tere is hooked, and she doesn’t read comics. (philistine)

If anything do yourself a favor and grab some of the collected books. We’ll just sit by and wait for you to start searching the bins for back issues.

The Walking Dead is published by Image Comics.

What's The Dilly-O?

2008-03-28T15:18:00.003-04:00

I’ve been called out and humbled, and rightly so, trappedinnorthcountry a regular visitor here laid it on the line with a “what’s the deal”, and I started thinking, what is the deal?

First let me say, it’s not all laziness. Researching stuff to write about takes time, and I’ve gotten more than a bit overwhelmed with evil (ok, not so evil) work stuff. I’ve also taken on a new/old project with my good friend Noah Scalin of the now famous Skull A Day blog. I don’t know how much he would want me to say about it at this point, but you should start seeing the fruits of our labor by years end.

I’ve also started training again for endurance running after taking nearly a year off, which means I’m starting from scratch. My wife Tere wants to run her first marathon and beat me by a year. (I ran my first for my 40^th birthday in New York) She’s asked me to coach her (I’m on probation) so my lunch time is spent on the treadmill doing fast runs for me, and some of my evenings are spent doing slower strength building miles outside for her. Needless to say, I’m exhausted most of the time, but that’s just an excuse, and you don’t need excuses. You need curmudgeonly ranting, and I need to rant and/or gush geekgasms as the case may be. I’m not promising daily content, but I’m gonna try hard for 3 days a week which should give me time to research and write. Feel free to call me out when and if I stray.

One more thing, trappedinnorthcountry, thanks for the push. I needed it.

So, Who's Watching??

2008-03-10T16:10:00.022-04:00

Wow, I missed you guys. Work this past week has been butt-kicking, but now we're in spring break (wooo) so I get a bit of a breather.
I don't know if this is new news or not, but it's new to me. The Warner Bros. Watchmen site has posted these pictures of the main cast, and even thought the movies a year away I am definitely getting more excited about it.
Go check the site out, read the synopsis, and if you've never read The Watchmen, do yourself a favor and pick it up. It is by far one of the greatest graphic novels (to quote a Simpsons character) ever. If these pictures don't whet your appetite, nothing will.
The Watchmen was originally published in comics form by DC in 1986/87. It is written by the great Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons. It is the only graphic novel to win a Hugo Award.
Watchmen the movie is directed by Zack Snyder who also did 300 and the Dawn of the Dead reimagining.

Dear Santa, I've Been A Bad Boy......

2008-02-26T16:15:00.012-05:00

I love toys, (no, not that kind you cheeky monkey! Ok, but only if there's a safety word.) and I have dozens packed away at home since I have no more shelf space. What can I say, some people like little ceramic figurines, or balls of colored glass (ouch) but I'm all about poseable plastic in the shapes of superheroes, and the military and monsters....oh how I love the monsters. While I often get melancholy over the toys I've lost moving or through other means, I had a "life size" Spike from Gremlins, and an original Alien with the pop out mouth and many many more, I still do get excited over some really cool item. (Note to self: dig out your Sin City Marv in the electric chair that laughs when you fry him.)
So I got really pumped when Hasbro posted pictures of their upcoming Cloverfield Monster. Here are the bullet points from the Hasbro site:

70 points of articulation and incredible life-like detail
Authentic sound
14" tall
10 parasites
Two interchangeable heads
Statue of Liberty head accessory
Special collector’s edition packaging

The only negative for me is the $99. projected price tag, but hey, I could get caught up in the moment of wanting to see Cloverfield raze Lego town to the ground. Hmmmm, maybe I'll reshoot Cloverfield in "Startling Legovision." While there's no official release date, there is a projected shipping date of 9/30 and Hasbro is taking pre-orders through their website here.

Now before I leave you with images of Cloverfield dancing in your heads, I have something else to show you. (no, not that you cheeky monkey)
These items are definite pre-orders for me. I'm sorry to say I missed the first three in The Dead series from Sideshow Collectibles, and may need to hunt them down on Ebay. I absolutely will not let these escape my greedy little clutches. They may actually push my decision to get a custom head sculpt done by Andgor Toy Company over the edge so I could lead my own army of zombie hunters across my shelves.
I think these would compliment any childs toy box as well as keep Buzz LightYear and those noisy Pokemon critters in check.

Shooting The Dead

2008-02-22T16:24:00.010-05:00

I promise this is the last zombie related post till the next zombie related post.

(I dig zombies, what can I say)
This is, in a sense the second part of my day with Diary of the Dead review, so if you have not read the previous post, please go back and do so. Think of it as a “choose your own adventure” story for the really really lame.

Done? Good.
I’m going to try to avoid spoilers, but let’s be realistic; it’s a Romero Dead film. It’s not if zombies get the main characters, it’s when.

Here’s a shocker, I thoroughly enjoyed George A Romero’s Diary of the Dead. Romero has returned to his roots of guerrilla film making bypassing Hollywood and making the picture he wanted to make, and it shows.
The films tone more closely resembled the original Dead films Night and Dawn in the sense that Romero has hit the reset button on the genre he’s created and brought us back to the first days of the zombie epidemic.
Diary of the Dead takes place in a world without Resident Evil or Evil Dead, if there’s a George Romero counterpart in this world he’s still working for PBS. There are no known zombie rules in Diary of the Dead. No one automatically goes for the head shot, or get’s the now clichéd idea to head to the nearest mall, a bite is just a bite and certainly not deadly. As our heroes learn, Romero’s rules of the dead are in place and it’s only through trial, since there’s no room for error, do they discover what those are. One thing that bugged me in the Dawn remake was only a bite would turn you, but as the one legged priest in the original Dawn said “When the dead walk the earth señors, we must stop the killing, or lose the war” Any dead body will rise in Diary, which ups the ante considerably for our survivors.

Just who are our survivors?
A group of film students and their teacher are out in the woods of Pittsburgh filming a mummy picture when the first news reports start coming in. Finding the dorms deserted and not knowing what to do, they load up in an RV and try to get to their respective homes.
Jason who wants to be a documentary filmmaker controls the camera through most of the film. I say most because one of the themes of this film is the camera as a safety net and at times as an addiction. Where Hud in Cloverfield seemed to keep the camera going out of shock, Jason operates obsessively, needing to create his movie The Death of Death which is the true film we are watching. While he may hide behind the tenet of needing to get the truth out, it’s really about how many hits his MySpace page gets. Don’t get me wrong, Jason isn’t a bad guy, he’s doing what he believes is right, and that belief includes a strict non interference policy. At one point he’s charging the camera battery when he hears shots coming from the direction his girlfriend Debra had gone. Unable to leave the camera you can feel his relief when Debra appears at the doorway. What happened? He asks. If it didn’t happen on camera, it didn’t happen she replies.

Like all of Romero’s Dead films, Diary has a somewhat heavy handed social commentary to make. Unable to trust traditional news media, information publication falls into the hands of the bloggers and the YouTubers, but it’s only a matter of time that all this information and all this news spinning becomes noise and you can no longer tell what truth is. Where does our responsibility lie? Is it our role to prevent atrocities or document them?

I wish I could tell you who played who, but with a cast of newcomers and my lousy memory for names I can’t. What I can tell you is each character was fleshed out just enough to let you know them. One thing I love about Romero films is his short story approach to characterization. Unlike another writer/director named George who creates great characters but can’t get them to live on screen, Romero’s written characterization is basic, and it’s in front of the camera that they become real people. Our group meets up with a mute Amish man in one of the movies funnier and terrifying moments. Romero captures everything you need to know about him within a few minutes of screen time and I find myself caring about what happens to him. The same goes for another band of survivors we meet who have organized with military precision under the leadership of an ex national guardsman. The lead guardsman was great and I’d love to see Romero tackle another film just about these guys. You can see how a society like the one in Land of the Dead could form from survival groups like this trying to rebuild.

Romero also dips into his own bag of tricks to give us little nods to previous Dead films. From soldiers cleaning out an apartment building, complete with a resident shouting “don’t go in there” (a direct nod to Dawn) to a home being overrun as in Night and a zombies guts spilling out as it attempts to rise (dream sequence from Day). Romero reminds us that somewhere a woman named Barbara just lost her brother, and a guy named Steven is still flying his helicopter for a local news channel and everything is going to hell.

My nits to pick are small. With Romero returning to his roots I would have liked to see more “live” gore effects. The whole film was shot in 23 days and many of the effects were added digitally. Since the film was financed without a studio backing it this saved Romero a ton of money, but I found myself missing latex chunks torn from necks and torsos being ripped into as condoms filled with stage blood erupt and paint the actors. One effect involving hydrochloric acid really took me out of the moment as it was clearly digital.
I also found it difficult to tell how much time had passed and how much distance has been traveled. Unlike Cloverfield, The Death of Death is an edited film, and while that eliminates complaints over how long it takes to get from downtown to 59^th street on foot, it also eliminates our timeline. I’m assuming that our group is on the road for several days, but I could be wrong.

The makeup however, by Greg Nicotero was top notch and the first zombie in particular reminded me of why I love these films.

So to wrap up, George A Romero’s Diary of the Dead is a must see for fans, and I’m hoping it gets a bigger distribution. If you’re a casual fan or new to the zombie genre, this reboot will show you what makes Romero the king, and why nothing is scarier than a slow zombie.

George A Romero’s Diary of the Dead is in limited release.
For a list of theaters click here.

Frustrations of the Dead

2008-02-20T17:47:00.005-05:00

While most guys were feeding their honeys semi burnt toast and undercooked pancakes for breakfast in an attempt to be forgiven for the years past transgressions this past valentine’s day weekend. I convinced my wife to travel 100 miles north to Alexandria Virginia to catch George A Romero’s newest zombie flick Diary of the Dead. If you’ve been reading this blog you already know I’ve been a wee bit excited to see this film, and nothing says I love you like a healthy dose of shambling carnivorous undead.

Before I get to the promised review I have a few things I need to get off my chest. Now anyone who knows me will tell you I am the epitome of laid back. Nothing phases me, Charlie’s as serene as they come. Then they will burst out laughing and take a step back to avoid the oncoming lightning bolt. Demons will start putting on snowshoes and parkas in preparation for quick frost coming hells way.

Ok, so the ride was pretty uneventful, we made great time and traffic was what I expected it to be. We get to the theatre, the AMC on Swamp Fox road and one out of six of the ticket kiosks were in working order. There are 21 theaters in this place and I pre-purchased to avoid standing in line. Fortunately, as I said we made great time and this didn’t slow us down too much.

Let me just say, I have a few pet peeves. Blinker negligence is one of them, as is parking two feet from the curb. These however are minor irritants. Since when, may I ask, is standing in line for 18 minutes acceptable anywhere other than the DMV, or to get concert tickets? I just drove 90 minutes; all I want is a salty snack and an ice cold beverage. Let me start with concession stand guy, let’s call him J, (he knows who he is) The only way I can describe the alacrity with which J moved is to compare him to the old man Tim Conway played on the Carol Burnett show. My god time actually moved backwards around him to give the impression of forward motion. Now J, buddy, if you’re out there, maybe there is some physical reason you cannot move as fast as, say a crawling infant on valium, and if that is the case I am truly sorry for singling you out, but did you ever think that maybe the fast paced world of food service is not for you? Give the ticket window a try, at least you get to sit.

So here we are waiting for an interminable length of time. The impatient people behind us are starting to encroach on our personal space earning baleful stares from me and Tere. Finally, there are two people ahead of us, we can see the light at the end and the woman at the counter doesn’t…know…what…she…wants.

C’mon, really? We’ve been standing here for how long and you don’t know what to order? You do know this is a theater right? The choices are somewhat limited. There’s no menu really to speak of. I can understand not knowing if you’re in the mood for nachos, but not knowing what you want after standing here all this time, were you sleeping? She changed her mind so many times, and I watched J go back and forth at a glacial pace. Tree Ents were waving their branches in frustration (look it up, it’s from the Lord of the Rings)

I actually had to step off the line to curtail the oncoming tirade I was about to unleash. I have never wanted to slap food out of someone’s hands more than I did when she walked past me with enough snacks to feed three, and if I were younger I would have gladly done so even at the price of a ticket. (I also would have done it if someone was filming cause nothing important happens if it’s not filmed – ohhhhh, foreshadowing)

I’m gonna skip the part where the couple behind us decided to talk through a good portion of the movie because ignance is ignance, at least they didn’t bring a baby.

Oh, people, just for the record, leaving your phone on vibrate is nearly as annoying as leaving the ringer on. You know that fly in your room that keeps you awake half the night? It’s quieter than your vibrating phone. C’mon, it’s not new technology. Turn the sounds off. If your wife is pregnant and you’re expecting her call what the hell are you doing at the movies?

Northern Virginia is like a roach motel. You can get in, but don’t expect to see any signs to get you out. We actually had to consult the map to get on the highway that was less than a ¼ mile away as there were no signs ANYWHERE! It took sheer luck, and fifteen minutes of circling to find the on ramp and fortunately it was going the right way.

Needless to say I would rather fly to New York to see movies Richmond may never get than to go to northern Va. for an afternoon.

Thanks for letting me rant/whine. Let me know what bugs you. Maybe I’ll start a list, as long as “bloggers that waste my time with pointless whiny rants” isn’t on it.

In the meantime enjoy this clip of Tim Conway, you only need to watch the 1^st few minutes to get the J experience.

I’ll review the movie tomorrow….promise.

Don't Zombies Have Anywhere Else To Hang Out?

2008-02-15T13:29:00.010-05:00

Most people that know me know there are two things I find entertaining, video games and zombies. Specifically zombies in film, comics or video games. I've tried zombie literature but after about thirty pages of "uhwahhh", "grrrrrr" and "br-a-i-i-i-nssss" I tend to lose interest. Zombie vocabulary is a little too limited to allow them to write books, and they're horrible typists, fingers keep getting stuck between the keys and popping off. The exception being Max Brooks amazing World War Z, and the Zombie Survival Guide of course, but he's not a zombie....yet.
So a mix of zombies and video games usually leaves me giddy, but when I see my favorite things cheapened by senseless lawsuits, well lets just say I get a little dead inside. (pun intended for those keeping score)
New Line Cinema and the MKR Group, current rights holders to George A Romero's Dawn of the Dead are claiming copyright infringement against Japanese game publisher Capcom citing the video game Dead Rising rips them off.
Let me lay the similarities out for the uninitiated. Both properties have zombies. Both properties have humans. Both properties have a shopping mall.
That's about it.
Dawn of the Dead (the original) is a film about four desperate people trying to survive an unimaginable apocalyptic situation of unknown origins by taking refuge in a shopping mall.
Dead Rising is a video game on the XBox 360 system about a photojournalist trapped in a shopping mall for three days who uncovers a plot to zombify the world. There's a much bigger story to Dead Rising that involves the governments attempt to mass produce beef, but you get the idea.
Where Dawn of the Deads violence was unforgiving and brutal, Dead Rising is almost comical. Anything in the mall can be used as a weapon including giant Lego heads, golf balls and the ever trusty chainsaw.
Dawn of the Dead has a feeling of despair and solitude. Dead Rising has a new person to save around every corner, and the most dangerous foes are living humans driven mad by their situation.
While it is clear that Dead Rising is influenced by Dawn of the Dead, they have about as much in common as Godzilla 2000, Cloverfield and Ghostbusters. At least those three were the same medium.
I think I should also mention, Dead Rising has been available since 2006 and included a disclaimer on the cover "This game was not developed, approved or licensed by the owners or creators of George A Romero's Dawn of the Dead".
I have to wonder why New Line doesn't go after the wholly enjoyable Hong Kong comedy horror film Biozombie which also features humans battling zombies in a shopping mall. Oh yeah, they're not as ilthyfay ichray as Capcom.
Capcom has since fired a preemptive strike and are seeking a declaratory judgment that the idea of humans battling zombies in a shopping mall cannot be protected under copyright standards.
Now, considering George Romero got completely screwed in allowing Night of the Living Dead to fall into public domain. I'm all for giving the man his due. However, George has nothing to do with this lawsuit. I wish the folks at New Line could see how this kind of action cheapens the whole franchise and could adversely affect Diary of the Dead which was released in a limited run today. If anything George should countersue New Line, and while he's at it endorse Dead Rising, and go after Atari for the horrible licensed Land of the Dead: Road to Fiddlers Green game.
While I can't imagine New Line winning this waste of legal resources, the action may be enough to delay work on Dead Rising 2, which I imagine will take place nowhere near a shopping mall.
Dead Rising is currently available as an XBox 360 Platinum Hit for a budget price.
The original Dawn of the Dead is available in several formats including a pristine blu-ray edition and as angry as I am with New Line, if you haven't seen it, what are you waiting for?
This weekend I'm driving 90 minutes north to see Diary of the Dead......I hope to review on Monday.
Have a nice weekend all.

Cool Geeks I Know: Numero Dos

2008-02-14T13:27:00.007-05:00

Today I bring you a very special installment of Cool Geeks I Know. In celebration of Valentine Day, or Singles Awareness Day (SAD) my cool Geek Goddess is my wife Tere.

Tere and I have been married (to each other for those of you not paying attention) since late 2001, and were friends for some time before we began dating. We were two geeks at opposite ends of a bar annoying our mutual friend who owned the place (big shout out to Marina) with all things geeky, which at the time was a mutual interest in Lucy Lawless, probably for different reasons. “Charlie this is Tere, Tere this is Charlie, please leave me alone and talk nerdy to each other.” Marina kinda said, and that was that.
Marina, by the way; big fan of Frank Miller, so another Geek Goddess in my book.
But Charlie, you may ask. Aside from being a Lucy Lawless fan what makes Tere a geek?

Let’s consider the ways shall we?
Every morning, the first thing I do (after yelling at the cats to shut the hell up) is thank whatever deities are out there for blessing me, one who is..trust me..completely unworthy, with a wife who can be as geeky as I am.
True, you will never find a Wii-mote in her hands, but she’ll never tell me video games are stupid. Yeah, she has the hots for the cynically sarcastic anti-hero types, but hey, I’ve got two out of three going for me. She likes sci-fi and horror. She has a Dork air freshener in her car that has long lost the scent, but she likes it.

She’s been to a Xena and a Farscape and a Fangoria convention by her own choice and has her own collection of autographs. One of her favorite autographs is Gunnar Hansen, 10 points for Gryffindor if you can tell me who he is, my wife knows…

Her current favorite shows are Torchwood and Battlestar. If I asked her to pick something up at Gamestop, she’d bring the right thing home. She stood in line, so I could go to band rehearsal, to get my copy of Dark Knight Returns signed by Frank Miller. She spoke to Frank effin Miller!! She is supportive of my zombie obsession. American Psycho is one of her favorite films. Her most anticipated film this year is The Dark Knight. I can list the virtues of Teres geek cred for pages, but the most telling is….she tolerates me…barely, and was a driving force behind me starting this blog. I personally think she got sick of listening to me rant, but hey whatever gets you there.

Other ways Tere is great besides beauty and brains. She is a damned talented Jewelry designer. (she once made a Tardis key for a friend of mine) You can check her stuff out at mypreciousstudio.com.
She is also a terrific mother to the pride of cats we have living with us.
So I just wanted to say thanks to my wife Tere for not throwing out my comics, and hiding my controllers and for watching Attack of the Show with me every night.

By the way: Guys, if you have a Geek Goddess in your life do something nice for her this valentine day. Let her pwn you at Halo, or read your comics before you get a chance (she won’t devalue them by looking at them, promise). Let her pick the movie, or (shudder) have control of the remote. Dance with her, you don’t like it, but she does. Whatever you do, consider yourself lucky to have a geek goddess in your life…..I know I do.

I'm So MSTie Over You

2008-02-11T14:26:00.000-05:00

Todays entry is practically a public service. If you’re like me (if you’re not you should aspire to be as I can be pretty awesome) Saturday mornings in the not too distant past consisted of plopping down in front of the tube with a mug of coffee and the most sickeningly sweet cold cereal you could find to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000. For the uninitiated, MST3K was a show starring a guy and two robots that were forced to watch really bad films as some sort of experiment. Fortunately the robots had incredible senses of humor and they and the guy, originally portrayed by Joel Hodgson and followed by Mike J Nelson, spent the movie making bad puns, sarcastic one liners and throwing out more pop culture references than a library of Dennis Miller rants. It was the funniest thing on tv. The show ran from 1988-1999 for 199 episodes and I’ve seen each one at least twice. It’s true, even with the humor many of these films did everything in their power to put you to sleep, and there were more than one occasion where I swore I would have to practice defenestration (look it up you lazy bums) to save myself from the horrors of the film I was watching, but I came back week after week and like Beetlejuices take on the Exorcist it just got funnier and funnier. The day MST3K ended its run was the day laughter stopped, well it would have been if it wasn’t for CSpan.

I’m not just here to wax nostalgic though, no siree. The voices and writers behind one of the funniest shows ever are back as The Film Crew. There are no robots, no silhouettes, no Satellite of Love or invention exchanges, though there are still some lame interludes wisely kept to a minimum. The premise is much simpler; they provide audio commentary for films that never had one. Of course these films would have to be the scrapings below the bottom of the barrel. Mike is visually the only recognizable personality here, but once the film starts and the chatter begins it’s like old friends have come home. Kevin Murphy who voiced Tom Servo and Bill Corbett who was the 2^nd voice of Crow T Robot are along for the ride.

Now don’t think they make the kind of jokes you’ll remember to impress your friends with your sharp wit. The humor is definitely dependent on the visuals from the films. This weekend I watched Killers From Space starring a young Peter Graves. One running gag is whenever the film shows Graves writing something they voice his internal musings as thinking of titles for shows he will later star in, “Let’s see, Mission Easy, no that’s not right.”. Killers From Space and Hollywood After Dark starring a very unsexy Rue Mclanahan as a stripper (she was hotter in Golden Girls, no lie) are the only two I have seen so far. Giant of Marathon and Wild Women of Wongo are the other two releases and are in my Netflix queue. I strongly urge you to seek these out, watch them, then invite some friends over to watch them again. If you don’t have friends, cats and action figures will suffice. Keep these guys making the funny, the fate of humor depends on it.

The Film Crew have another project called Rifftrax. For $4 or less you can download an MP3 audio track to provide commentary for a DVD you probably own. Films like Transformers, Spiderman and 300 as well as pilot episodes of Lost, Heroes and Greys Anatomy are available. There are 54 commentaries in total with more to come. If you watch films on your computer there is a beta player that will sync the audio and film up for you (currently windows only). I haven’t tried Rifftrax yet, but I’m thinking hey, I’m not doing anything else with Independence Day, am I?

I’ll let you know how it works out

Where Have All The Cowgirls Gone?

2008-02-07T16:30:00.000-05:00

I have one question for all of you. When did the Japanese develop dream reading technology, and why are they reading my dreams? Ok, technically that’s two questions, but bear with me. I’d been cruising around kotaku.com the other day, which is a great site for video game news when I found this intriguing image.

Turns out there’s a pretty popular (wonder why) videogame series in Japan called OneeChanbara. Roughly translated to big sister sword fighting, Oneechanbara features a bikini wearing cowgirl sword fighter named Aya battling hordes of zombies who bleed so much if you don’t clean your sword regularly it gets harder to wield.

I’ve never played these games, though they may be coming to the states for the Nintendo Wii and X-Box 360. None of this, however is important. The fact that this franchise is now a LIVE ACTION MOVIE is.

Aya is joined by Saki the schoolgirl and Reiko the cop who are also playable in the games. I own a lot of wacky Asian cinema, but this one may take the cheesecake. Just look at these shots and tell me you won’t be searching for this on ebay.

This may just knock the Dark Knight from my number one spot of most anticipated film of 2008……enjoy.

One more thing....

Thank you Japanese dream reading technology…..

Worst "Dear John" Ever..

2008-02-05T16:22:00.000-05:00

Sarah Silverman is one of the funniest women on the planet. She's also kinda hot, and real dorky at the same time. I think a lot of her stuff is so shocking that people can't tell if they should laugh or cringe. I caught this bit from the Jimmy Kimmel show the other day and needed to share.

The People He Kills, Get Up and Kill......

2008-02-05T12:31:00.000-05:00

I didn't get a chance to post yesterday, but it was the birthday of a man whom without, I would not be who I am today.
I'm talking George A Romero turning 68. If ever there was ever a king to hail baby, it's this guy. George took the mind of this impressionable young man and warped it to the point where I have friends who want to be with me in the event of a zombie apocalypse. I want them there too, especially if they're slower than me......ha!
You can all celebrate Georges birthday by seeing Diary of the Dead opening the 15th of this month.

Saturdays Nights Alright For Fightin'

2008-01-31T15:29:00.001-05:00

Since I showed off my old mans YouTube presence yesterday, I only thought it fair to showcase my own meager talents today.
Way back in the before time...in the long long ago I would risk life and limb to get my dance on. You think Kevin Bacon fought for the right to dance? Swayze.....he was no risk taker. Have they ever been able to tell how good a show was by the amount of bruises on their legs? We'd go home bloody, bruised and with 12 kinds of sweat on our bodies night after night after night.
Anyway, back in 81 the San Fran punk band FEAR played SNL for a Halloween show. I was 16 years old. I'm the kid in the red sleeveless shirt (my ghetto Reagan Youth shirt) you first see about 28 seconds in, again at around 52 seconds and a few other times. The rest of the crowd are my peeps.

Enjoy

just found out the video has been deleted from youtube, you can still catch it here

My Dad The Superhero

2008-01-30T12:25:00.000-05:00

I mentioned back in another post how my dad Charles Bonet (The Latin Panther) did stunt work and starred in a few 70's martial arts pics. No sooner do I mention it that I come across this little gem on YouTube.
For those of you wondering, my dad's the short Rican in the tight shirts. Don't know what possessed them to put identical track suits on him and Speedy though. Makes them look like a couple, eh, they probably were on sale at Modells. Maybe they were the same size and my dad had his hemmed. I inherited my old mans vertical challenge so I probably shouldn't talk. Now if I could only do that thing with the eyebrow.
Best thing about it was all my friends thought my pops was a superhero and could really do some of the more outlandish stunts like jumping from the street onto a 1st floor fire escape. Dad and I don't speak much anymore, but I'm hoping to visit him in August. He may not be a superhero, but that doesn't mean I'm not proud of him.
Hmmmm, maybe I should have saved this for Fathers Day.
Nah, music this funky can't be held back.
Enjoy
by the way. In case you can't tell, the movie is called Death Promise.

Field Of Screams

2008-01-29T10:55:00.000-05:00

Well, this past weekend I finally went to see Cloverfield. I was reluctant at first. After all, reviews were all over the place, and history has shown us that anything with this much of an internet buzz usually fails to live up to the hype. Remember Snakes on a Plane? Exactly, no one does. Then there were all the gripes about the shaky cam, really? If you are bothered by the shaky cam, then you do not spend enough time on the internet. We are exposed to far grainier poorly shot video than this on a daily basis, and we love it so much, we send it to everyone we know. If anything I was amazed at how well thought out each shot had to be. The shakiness of the camera was a character in itself. In a movie lacking a soundtrack it was the camera work that told us when we should be tense and when to take a breather. I’ve seen a lot of comparisons to Blair Witch, but I think Cloverfield is a more intimate claustrophobic film. No easy feat in the middle of a normally bustling city like New York. Where Blair Witch relied on perception to deliver scares, Cloverfield shows you everything.

Being a New York native, I’m glad I didn’t see this movie back home. I’ve read about some angry New Yorkers walking out of the theater and I can see why.
See, New Yorkers have always felt a degree of invulnerability. Back home nothing can hurt me. I can fall asleep on the subway, yell at a random stranger for bumping me in the street, run across midtown traffic without fear, because in some way New York protects its own. That was until 9/11.
9/11 affected the sense of security of every New Yorker who was in the city at the time. It left a lot of us bruised and reeling. Cloverfield brought me back to that time. At one point the main characters are separated, just across the street from each other by a wave of soldiers and vehicles rushing by firing guns and missiles. The noise is frightening, the bursts of light from the guns is frightening. Our heroes are separated by less than 20” and it may as well have been a mile.
My wife and I both thought of the armed National Guard that stood along 14^th Street and in the subways during the days following 9/11.
Films that have tried to deliver the emotional impact of that horrible time in New York have not even come close to the desperation and helplessness as Cloverfield has.
I’ve read a bunch of reviews of Cloverfield that have blasted the film for the same reasons I liked it. I wonder where those reviewers were during 9/11? Did they walk home across the Williamsburg Bridge among people covered in ash unable to take their eyes off the column of smoke a couple of miles away feeling very small?

Another gripe I’ve read is that the characters are not entirely likable. It’s true, they were average 20 somethings. There wasn’t anything to really like or dislike about them. That was the frikkin’ point. They weren’t heroes, they weren’t special they were just..themselves. If anything the actors deserve credit for being so believable in their normality. When was the last time you watched a war documentary and thought hey, there’s a soldier I want to hang out with? The film lets you know right at the beginning. This is found footage – no spoilers there. At that point you know enough to not to get too emotionally vested in these people. The real star in the film is the camera. The people are just a support system.

Cloverfield was one of the scarier movies I’ve seen in a long time. The film is fairly light on gore but heavy on special effects that pay off. I’m not saying it’s for everyone, but neither was The Exorcist when it came out. I think time will prove Cloverfield a true classic and it will be hailed alongside films like The Exorcist, Jaws and The Shining as a true innovation in horror. Cloverfield may be the definitive horror of this decade. Tailor made for a culture reliant on YouTube, 24 hour news channels, and reality programming.

I only wish this movie had not hit before George Romeros Diary of the Dead coming on Feb 15^th as Romero is using a similar camera technique, and there is no doubt that unfair comparisons will be made. I’m a huge Romero fan and it would be a shame if his film suffered from negative reactions to Cloverfield.

If you’re a geek and haven’t seen Cloverfield, chances are you’re going to wish you had, and if you’re like me and prefer walking through the subway tunnels at night rather than wait for that local that runs every half hour to go 2 lousy stops,…..you will...never…do…that…again.

Cloverfield was directed by Matt Reeves and written by Drew Goddard.
It was produced by J.J. Abrams.
It stars Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas, T.J. Miller, Michael Stahl-David, Mike Vogal, Odette Yustman and New York City.

Plus one big ass monster……..

Sliding into Scientology

2008-01-24T12:49:00.000-05:00

Jerry O'Connell is one of the cool geeks. Tom Cruise...not so much. This video is from Funny or Die.
If you haven't been there lately, take a look.

One For The Tripper....er, Gipper

2008-01-23T15:23:00.001-05:00

If the WGA writers strike does nothing, at least it’s given me the opportunity to clean out my DVR and catch up on my Netflix rentals. Sometimes you just have to look at the positive. I’m sorry there are a bunch of folk out of work, but hey at least I’m caught up on ER!

Anyway, I’ve been working my way through a bunch of B-movies I’ve had in my Netflix queue. See, I’ve always had a greater appreciation for the low budget stuff. Perhaps it was my early fondness of horror films, or that my dad starred in a few 70’s karate flicks and did stunts on a couple of B grade thrillers. (you can catch him going up in flames in a few scenes of Don’t Go In The House) Maybe it was living near Times Square (I was on 43^rd between 5^th and Broadway) and haunting the five films for a buck theatres that would affectionately be referred to as Grindhouse by hipsters who’ve never been to a film outside a multiplex. Whatever the reason, I loves me some b-z movies.

That’s why I was so excited when The Tripper appeared in my mailbox.
What’s that? A slasher pic where the killer wears a Reagan mask and kills faux hippies at a music festival? Sign me up!!!

If the premise isn't sweet enough, the movie is written and directed by David Arquette. That’s right Deputy Dewey from the Scream movies. If that’s not enough to pull you in the film features Jason Mewes, (Jay of Jay and Silent Bob) Jaime King, (Goldie from Sin City) Thomas Jane, (The Punisher) Paul Reubens, (Pee Wee frickin’ Herman) Courtney Cox Arquette, Lukas Haas, and Ric Overton. If you’re still not sold Fishbone makes an appearance.

Now let me set the record straight. The film isn’t much more than I described above. It never fails that when someone attempts to make B movie, midnight movie, or a cult film and they don’t have the last name Tarantino, they usually fail miserably and this movie is really no exception. The story is almost nonexistent. The acting is a little clunky. The gore is funnier than it is shocking. The music festival setting is unbelievable. I hated every character because, well, they were hippies. Not flower children, but hippies and contemporary hippie to boot. If it’s 2008 and you’ve got nothing better to do than follow around your favorite jam band and smoke pot and drop acid all day then you should be summarily dispatched by a guy in a Reagan mask. Heck that guy may even be me!

So why am I writing about it? Take a look at the scene below, listen to the scene below. In what may actually be one of the more surreal moments of my life, I’m sitting on the couch watching a guy in a Reagan mask get mediaeval on a drum circle and who’s drums do I hear?...........mine.

This big slaughter scene takes place over the song Reagan Youth by the band Reagan Youth of which I was a founding member. There has been some question as to who actually played the drums on this track. I’m not credited, yet it sounds uncannily like my playing even down to the same mistakes I make to this day. Other musicians have told me they remastered the original demo and sped it up a little to avoid having to rerecord for the first albums release and I believe them. Heck, if you heard my drums today, I still tune down just as the drums on this track are. People familiar with my playing think it’s me, especially when played against other tracks off the same album (different tuning, different style). Of course none of this really matters. Did Andy (the original bassist R.I.P) and I get cheated on mechanicals and publishing? Sure we did. At one point Reagan Youth did a self copyright with all our names on it and we were considered equals in the writing process. Let’s face it, in a group of four 15-16 year olds it would be ludicrous to believe that the guitarist and singer wrote every part for every song and were solely responsible for the sound of the group. It’s probably why only a handful of songs were written after Andy and I were gone even though the group continued for several years. I’ve been contacted about lawsuits, but really, when I see a 16 year old kid wearing a Reagan Youth pin or t-shirt, it’s all worth it.

What makes it even more ironic is that my stage name in RY was Charlie Tripper, a moniker I picked up in junior high, and not from drugs surprisingly enough. Remember that dad I mentioned, the stuntman? I used to pratfall all over the place after my dad taught me how. I could throw myself down a flight of stairs, stand up and take a bow if I felt like it, and I often did.

Most of the kids knew me as Tripper.

Having the song in a horror flick was just icing on the cake. The RY song USA for Anarchy was originally written by me except it was called mangled bodies at the time and was about horror films which I loved. I was trying to write a song that sounded like the Plasmatics since I loved the drums. Dave (R.I.P) changed the lyrics when he decided we would be named Reagan Youth and do political punk instead of Pus as we were originally called when we did songs about jewish American princesses and necropheliacs. Dave didn’t like my lyrics since he considered slasher pics to be stupid. Of course I don’t have a co-writing credit for USA either.

I replayed the scene with commentary, and it was a bit strange to hear Deputy Dewey saying how hard it was to get the rights for the song since most of the band is dead and having the Punisher and Pee Wee chiming in with that’s a shame and similar platitudes.

So was The Tripper a good movie? No, but it was fun in spite of it’s shortcomings. If nothing else The Tripper made my day. After all how wrong can you go with a slasher in a Reagan Mask?

I think it bears noting that this is David Arquettes 2^nd film with a Reagan Youth song, the first was Airheads.

Carryin' a Torch

2008-01-22T16:27:00.001-05:00

I wish I could say nothings been going on that’s got me excited, but the reality is a lot has been going on, I’ve just been too:
A) Lazy
B) Busy
C) Lazy again
to post anything.

See, I usually do this during lunch or after work. Since I normally eat at my desk, it gives me a reason to distance myself from the job for awhile, and staying a half hour late is preferable to chaining myself to another desk once I get home.

So what’s got me so worked up that it’s broken my burst of inactivity?

One word…..Torchwood.

For those of you not in the know Torchwood is the brain child of Russell T Davies, who I am starting to think of as the Brit Joss Whedon, the man who gave a much needed shot in the arm to the long in the tooth Doctor Who series in 2005.
Torchwood the title is actually an anagram for Doctor Who and was used to keep the new Doctor Who series scripts a secret.
Torchwood the institute gained mention throughout the first two seasons of the new Doctors run as a covert group that monitors and investigates all things alien and supernatural on Earth.
Turns out they're a pretty busy bunch since they're located right over a rift in time and space. Think of it as the place Fox Mulder would want to work though they would laugh at his little grey men and I Believe poster.

Torchwood is a group of five operatives.
Gwen Cooper: (Eve Myles) Former policewoman and team newbie.
Dr. Owen Harper: (Burn Gorman) Doc tough guy and resident man ho.
Toshiko Sato: (Naoko Mori) Repressed computer specialist
Ianto Jones: (Gareth David-Lloyd) Team support and maker of tea.
Their leader brilliantly portrayed by John Barrowman is Captain Jack Harkness.

Captain Jack first made an appearance as a time traveling con man from the 51^st century in the 2005 Doctor Who series. He hung around, slowly transforming from rogue to hero till the seasons end when he is killed fighting the Daleks in the year 200,100 and resurrected by the Doctors companion Rose Tyler who was briefly omnipotent thanks to the power of the time vortex. (you just have to see it) The now future stranded Jack eventually escapes and ends up on earth in 1869 where he learns that his resurrection had a little side effect, he’s immortal. Jack lives through the 20^th century and reappears in the Doctor Who universe in 2006’ Torchwood premier.

Torchwood is an adult science fiction show. They swear, they sleep around, they bleed. If Torchwood were produced here it would probably be on Showtime. Even the lighthearted episodes have a bit of darkness to them. The Torchwood team operates almost entirely on mutual respect since you get the impression that nobody really likes anyone else, even if they’re screwing. If that respect wavers, even for an instant, you can expect consequences. So why do I care so much for this generally unlikable bunch? It’s simple, the best sci-fi happens when seen through the eyes of real people, and Torchwood is great sci-fi and the characters are written to be very real and very human.

The first season of Torchwood is now available on DVD, or on BBC America In Demand. I’m sure you can also find episodes online. If you want to view Captain Jacks timeline in order watch the new Doctor Who season one (he’s in four of the last five episodes) followed by Torchwood season one then back to Doctor Who season 3 (the last 3 episodes)

Torchwood the 2^nd season starts here on BBC America, Jan 26^th. Jack is back after some time tripping to find the team has moved on without him. That’s about all I know so far. The extended trailer features Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman) the Doctors season 3 companion, and Captain Jack in a John Woo style stand off with James Marsters. (Spike of Buffy/Angel fame) It’s curious how the BBC America trailer doesn’t show Jack in a liplock with Ianto, but if you want to catch it check out all the trailers on YouTube.

Let's Force Evolution, That Should Shut 'Em Up

2008-01-03T16:25:00.000-05:00

O.K., I've figured out how to prove evolution in one week, but I'm going to need everyones help, and I mean that on an international scale.
For one week, and one week only.....
Everyone in the world has to agree.......
To stop feeding their cats.
I know it's radical, but if the way my cats complain and harass every morning and evening at feeding time is any indication, within a week, one of the little buggers is going to figure out opening a can. Seriously, I truly understand the word caterwaul. They're worse than grandma when she wants her M&M's dammit!! They may even form opposable thumbs. I'm not sure, anything can happen. C'mon everyone, they (the cats) have already proven they can use a toilet. Opening a can is the next grand step in a cat's evolutionary process. Why do we continue to hold them back? Why do we enable their evolutionary stasis?
The time is now people......
Are you with me?

good thing my cats can't read........

Happy Holidays Yo!

2007-12-23T15:49:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm in Nueva Jork for the x-mas eve thing with the fambly, and I'm using my friend Mary's computer to post this since my Aunt's place where I'm staying has (shudder, shudder) dial up. I just wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday, whichever holiday that may be, and if you're not a holiday kind of person enjoy the day off, you deserved it.
I'll be back home the 25th and hopefully get out to see Sweeney Todd. and I'll let you all know what I think.

See you all soon

There Is A Place In Time.....

2007-12-19T15:55:00.000-05:00

I thought I was done posting today, but I just found out USA networks The 4400 will not be returning for a fifth season. This is the show that out-heroed Heroes. It built on it's characters in a realistic way without having to be a star vehicle for anyone. Shows like Heroes and Lost could have learned a lot from a show like 4400 which juggled multiple disparate story lines while never letting you feel cheated, or like your favorites weren't getting proper screen time. Where Heroes is a straight forward comic, The 4400 felt more like a novel. Last season was slower than most, but not as slow or tired as X-Files was at the end, and I still feel it had Heroes beat. Hopefully The 4400 will return in some form to tie up some of the story line cliffhangers they spent all season building up to.

Pull Em Up

2007-12-19T11:17:00.000-05:00

Frikkin' Awesome!!!

if video doesn't load click play, or click window to go to youtube

I Found Them!

2007-12-19T10:14:00.000-05:00

if the video doesn't load click the play button or click the window to go to youtube

I was going to write something about Jamie Lynn Spears being pregnant, but let's face it the Ho Ho's and Cheetos don't fall far from the white trash tree.

The big news is of course the new extended trailer for Lost season 4!
Lost is coming back on January 31st and if you're a savant and figured it out, that is a Thursday. Lost now moves into the coveted Grey's Anatomy slot. There's no word on what the lead in may be, but I don't see Private Practice as a good fit. My guess is it will be something new.
I have a love/hate relationship with Lost. I'm committed to the show, and want to see how it all turns out, but no other show can frustrate me like this one does. Maybe it's their intention that nothing ever gets delivered with a bright red bow around it in a neat little package. Maybe it's a big experiment for them. If Seinfeld could be the comedy show about nothing, we can be the thriller that goes nowhere. Either way, they've got me hooked and even the disappointments are really just bittersweet.
If this trailer, and the reflected city in the water is any indication, Lost is coming back with a vengeance. I for one know where I'll be 1/31 between 9 and 10 pm so don't call cause I'm not picking up.

Cool Geeks I Know #1

2007-12-18T12:06:00.000-05:00

Noah Scalin
This really has nothing to do with anything except the opportunity
to post a picture of my good friend Noah Scalin creator of the awesome Skull A Day blog and his evil twin Kevin Christiana AKA the straight guy on Project Runway.

In all seriousness, Noah is the creative force behind not only the Skull A Day blog, (check it out, I'll wait) but also ALR Design his socially conscious graphic design firm.
I only like him cause he worked at Troma and is in a party scene in Tromeo and Juliet.
So why is Kevin the evil twin? Easy, he's a bit younger than Noah, (evil twins are never older) and he's part of a competition where he gets to touch models. If Noah were part of a competition where he got to touch models, he'd at least invite me along to hold the camera.......nuff said.
That's why Noah is this months Cool Geeks I Know.

Have A Merry Ludachristmas

2007-12-14T08:34:00.000-05:00

So, the last new 30 Rock of this year aired last night and sure enough it was a Christmas, or as they called it, Ludachristmas episode. On the average I truly dislike holiday episodes of any TV show. They are always schmaltzy, and always have some underlying message that causes the back of my throat to seize up to stem the flow of gingerbread flavored holiday chunks.
With the message being every family is as screwed up as your own, punctuated by the Lohans names on the alcohol alert board at the end. This episode still pulled characters out of their natural roles and injected guest stars that just don't share the chemistry of the regular cast, and believe me, I am no Andy Richter or Buck Henry hater.
I did think this episode relied too much on sight gags, the coughing stripper, the poor kids gift of wood, the who farted set and Liz's football game (feminism!). The show, as always shines brightest in the dialog. My favorite line last night.

Liz's dad: It's not a Lemon party without old Dick.

For those of you who don't spend your days looking up deviations on the internet....not that I do, one description of lemon party is geriatric gay porn.
Roll that one around on your tongue and let me know how it tastes later.

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

2007-12-12T14:30:00.000-05:00

I've just learned that John Singleton, the man who brought us Boyz N The Hood and Four Brothers has been named to direct the upcoming A-Team film.

This kinda blew the wind from my sails as I was just about to write about bringing the A-Team back. We’ve seen a lot of 70’s and 80’s re-imaginings from the stellar (no pun intended) Battlestar Galactica to the somewhat lackluster Bionic Woman (which needs another reboot). We’ve seen films based on The Dukes of Hazzard, Miami Vice and Charlies Angels, and Knight Rider is coming back to TV and Hasselhoff is still Michael Knight. Fortunately that series will focus on his son and an all new Kitt, but my hopes are not high. While all these series, or films face inherent problems from the original source material, The A-Team has a certain timelessness that will translate well to any time. Certain things will have to change. Mental illness is no longer funny so Howling Mad Murdock needs an upgrade, and in all fairness there needs to be a woman on the team. I had only thought of revamping for TV and hadn’t even thought of bringing it to the theaters so here I go.

First off, if you’re unfamiliar with the A-Team the premise was four soldiers break out of maximum security prison where they were held for a crime they didn’t commit. They go underground and hire out as mercenaries. Lot’s of bullets flew, there was a shit load of collateral damage, and no one really got hurt. Singleton wants to make a darker grittier A-Team and that’ll be his first mistake. The A-Team should be light hearted, but not a comedy and action packed with comic book violence. Anyone can make a mercenary film with limbs flying and consequences of violence, but it wouldn’t be the A-Team.

Here is my TV pick for The A-Team

John “Hannibal” Smith/James Caan: Originally portrayed by George Peppard, this cigar smoking, cocky team leader who loved it when a plan came together had a knack for picking fights with the main bad guy, usually while smiling. In today’s politically correct landscape the cigar would have to go, but he can be a reformed smoker chewing nicotine gum. He’s been the hardest for me to cast but I think I would go with Jimmy Caan since he’s an accomplished actor who’s not afraid to do TV.

Bosco “B.A.” Baracus/Erik King: How do you step into Mr.Ts shoes? You can’t. The man is an icon. Erik King may not be able to match the image, (please no mohawk) but you can’t get much more “Bad Attitude” than this guy can portray. If you haven’t caught his portrayal of Sergeant Doakes on the Showtime series Dexter then shame on you. Too bad he couldn’t say “I pity the fool”.

“Howlin’ Mad” Murdock/Seth Green: Dwight Schultz dominated every scene he was in as Mad Dog Murdock, and his break outs from the mental hospital were a mainstay of the show. Since making light of mental illness probably wouldn’t fly today. My Howlin Mad (that’s his Gamertag) Murdock was recruited as an award winning game designer to program flight and driving simulators for the military. He can operate any vehicle, though he’s incredibly reckless, treating everything as if it was a game.

Templeton “Face” Peck/Katee Sackhoff: Dirk Benedicts Face was the conman of the group which worked well when there were women to play, but he got beaten up…a lot. Katee Sackhoff has already played one Dirk Benedict character bringing Starbuck to life as a woman, and she seems to be the go to girl for revival shows. Her Face would probably be a bit tougher than the original, and what evil dictator could refuse her? If only I was an evil dictator so I could try.

Since we couldn’t have The A-Team without Mr.T, I would cast him in a recurring role as the teams Vietnam vet weapons smith and mechanic. Someone’s got to buff the dents out of the van after it barrel rolls over traffic.

Fanboy, oh boy, oh boy

2007-12-10T15:33:00.000-05:00

I just found this shot from an upcoming movie called Fanboys.
There's nothing I can, or need to say.

I'll be Bahk......you be Beethoven

2007-12-10T12:19:00.000-05:00

Let's face it, there's not a heck of a lot to get excited about coming up on the small screen. The writers strike, which is a whole other topic, has prematurely ended or delayed what may be one of the most exciting TV seasons for geeks like me in a long time.
There are a few bright spots. We have a full season of The Shield coming up, that's something, but it's not enough. Where's my sci-fi?
I'm not the kind of guy who will hang a ripped out ad from a magazine on my bulletin board, but damn if this ad doesn't make me wish I was.
In what has to be one of the best printed ad campaigns FOX (yeah, I'm getting shudders) is bringing us Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Starting in January. The series stars Lena Headey who you might remember as Queen Gorgo in 300 and Summer Glau who is fast becoming the top sci-fi babe having already starred in Firefly, Serenity and The 4400. Thomas Dekker who played Zach, Claires boy pal on Heroes first season also stars, but let's face it, it's all about the chicks and the butt kicking and the shower scenes (I hope).
I'm thinking this show's gonna be a wet dream for injury fetishists since one of the fun things about Terminators is how much of a beat down they can take. The ads already hint at it. Anyone notice the electronics sticking out in the front look a hell of a lot like a Dreamcast controller? Hopefully Fox won't screw this up, and with a track record of canceled shows like Firefly, Family Guy, Arrested Development, Futurama, Tru Calling, Fastlane and Wondefalls, why should we think they will? I will admit they held onto Bones much longer than I thought they would. Even Joss Whedon is giving them another chance with Dollhouse. With little new episodic television coming our way, I'm hopeful The Sarah Connor Chronicles will be a bright spot in the coming season.

Too much to say

2007-12-10T12:07:00.000-05:00

I've got a lot I want to get to this week and if I can drag myself away from the video games and comics and tv shows long enough to write about the video games and comics and tv shows (Oh what a catch 22) then all would be right with the world.
Some of the stuff on my mind, the writers strike, how they botched the Bionic Woman, Knocked Up wasn't all that, Jennifer Love Hewitts butt, I am Beowulf in 3d, best printed ad campaign, will Rock Band make me a better (beater) drummer? The list goes on and on.
Hope you enjoy

It Must Be Friday.......

2007-12-07T10:41:00.000-05:00

And that brings me to my favorite new 30 Rock quote of the week. There were so many great lines. Tracy screaming Banter, Jennas assistant asking Bitch are you in? The great anonymous I killed my wife at the closing. 5 Million? That's NBA sexual assault money! I won't even start on sharking which does have a wiki entry:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharking

None of that beat Liz (Tina Fey Geek Goddess) walking in on Jack and his girlfriend in his office.
Jack: Lemon, you're here early.
Liz: Since I gave up caffeine I've been going to bed at 5:30.

It was something along those lines and speaking as a guy who normally gets home from work and has a cup of joe to keep going I can definitely relate.

Cool For Cats

2007-12-03T16:01:00.000-05:00

He's cool and geeky, just the way we like em.....

Zombie Apocalypse...Are You Ready?

2007-12-03T13:33:00.000-05:00

I usually buy my calendars about 1 week into the New Year when they're 50% off. Guess they had me figured out this year by offering a calendar I couldn't wait for. I bought the desk version and I can't wait to see how the year turns out.
I just hope the dead don't start walking till 2009 when I'll be fully prepared.
Remember, it's not if you survive, it's how long you survive.

Mmmm orange soda.......

2007-11-30T09:45:00.000-05:00

All hail Tina Fey Geek Goddess, Geeky Goodness
Best 30 Rock line last night:

They come from a place where orange soda is an acceptable substitute for breast milk.
(Tracy Morgan/Jordan about the ghetto baseball league he's coaching)

What'd they do, poll my family?
I'm still rolling